Can We Fall In Love Now? [Nicole Row]

Chapter 20

I yawned as I stepped off stage, too tired to ever want to do anything. I hadn't fallen that show, and for once I felt slightly successful.

I strummed by guitar a bit as I walked, the noise drowned out by the hustle and bustle of backstage. I sat down in our dressing room, pulling my hair out of its ponytail. "Good show, huh guys?"

"Yeah. Missed a few chords, but that's okay." Lee smiled, sitting across from me.

"Well, you'll get better." I smiled back at her and she frowned.

"I meant you, Addy. You have to practice, okay?"

"I have been practicing!" I protested, looking over at Ethan and Milo, "they've heard me!"

"You're always distracted, Ads." Ethan shrugged.

"See what I mean? Maybe if you get over your little crush on whoever it is you like, you can get better. Like god, we've all gotten better! You have to keep up, Adeline." She spat my name at me like it was a curse, and I wondered where all of this new anger came from.

"I don't have a crush, Lee! And I've been trying, trying so hard, Alright! Doesn't exactly help that I feel nauseous every time I try to play!"

"That's right, isn't it! You and your fucking eating disorders! Get over yourself already!"

"It's not that! I'm better now! You can't - you can't blame that!"

"Then what can I blame? The support you've been getting? People seem to like you, okay! No need to be sick! You're such a bitch! It's all because you're gay." She screamed at me, voice going shrill. It was quiet for a moment, and Ethan cleared his throat. I should have told them all. Not just Milo, but the others too.

"Can we just calm down for a moment?"

"Ethan, let them handle it on their own." Milo put a hand on Ethan's shoulder, and they moved away from us.

My face hardened, and I crossed my arms, "because I'm the one yelling at people because they see one hate comment?"

"Because you don't get hate comments!"

"I delete my hate, Lee. Or I ignore it. Maybe try it sometime?" I crossed my arms, looking her down.

"Can you stop being a bitch for one goddamn second and listen to me!"

"Lee, you should listen to yourself."

"Why are you acting like this?" She glared back up at me, and I rolled my eyes.

"Well, I guess being a bitch is a full time job." I mocked her previous insults, struggling to hide my hurt.

"Lee, please!" Milo pleaded with Elizama, trying to get her to calm down.

"Yeah, Lee. Just calm down." I said back, and she hurled almost an even worse insult.

"That nickname is for people who care, Addy. God, maybe you should just leave us already." Elizama rolled her eyes, and I gasped.

"I do care!" I protested, "and home is so far away right now! We're in Utah!"

"It's two hours away, Addy! Hop on your fucking first class flight and leave us like you will anyways!"

"Lee-"

"Just... go home, please." Milo piped up, putting a hand on my shoulder. My eyes widened in shock and I turned towards him, his arm falling back to his side.

"Milo you can't..." my eyes teared up, and he lad to look down. I knew him well enough to know that he was also nearly crying.

"Please, Addy. It's better this way."

"You can't mean that, Milo..."

"He does. I think it's best if we... separate you two. You're used to being on your own... I think you should go, okay Addy?"

Ethans words words carved into me like a knife, and I stumbled backwards as if shot. I nodded slowly anyways before a tear slipped down my cheek, and I sprinted from the room, flinging open the bus doors to grab my stuff.

I struggled to see through the tears as I flung my stuff into my suitcase, leaving my bunk just as it had been when I arrived. Then I was gone, a quick text sent to Josh and Tyler, explaining I was gone, another text to Brendon telling him I was coming home.

I ignored every other text after that, quickly walking towards a Starbucks so I could book a plane ticket. I sat in my booth for a few more minutes, getting a good cry in until I finally got up, wiped my tears away and ordered an Uber to the airport.

After painfully long security checks, and an hour long wait at the gate, I finally got in the plane. I fell asleep for the whole two hours before walking out of the plane and grabbing my bag, tearing up again when I saw Brendon. I ran over and hugged him, crying softly when he hugged me back.

My shoulders shook as I cried, and I regretted wearing makeup today. His poor shirt.

He didn't seem to care as he let go, wrapped an arm around my shoulders and brought me back to his car.

We got back to the house in no time, just Sarah, Brendon and me now. Nicole and Ryan didn't know what was happening.

I didn't say anything to them and they seemed to accept that as I lied on the couch, staring blankly at the tv. I felt broken again, and it was hard to imagine that just two days prior I was here, smiling and sitting in this same position with my friends. Now I was alone, Brendon and Sarah talking in the kitchen.

I wished Nicole were here. She could always make me smile.

A/N
I'm having a day, pardon the sad chapter
But relationships are growing
Progress is made