AUTHOR'S NOTE (A/N): First draft, rough. Will update on Wednesday/Thursday with tighter copy! Just wanted to get it out of my head and onto a page for now!
FADE IN
EXT. SPACE
In absolute black, we focus in on a blinking red dot slowly drifting across the screen. Zooming in, it is clear it is Not Betsy, but running without any lights at all.
James slowly flickers awake.
JAMES
Whuuuurgle?
NOT BETSY
Captain?
JAMES
WHURRGLEWE?
NOT BETSY
We are... Well, it's a little hard to explain.
JAMES
Hrrrtsplain?
NOT BETSY
Sorry sir, it will take a few minutes for your body to relax and for your jaw to unlock. But, yes, an emergency jump basically points the ship in a random direction, but also specifically above the galactic plane. Since 95% of all material is on the galactic plane, this makes it safer to instantly jump, given we didn't calculate for any planets, stars, etc. We just... jumped.
JAMES
Sowherewe?
NOT BETSY
I'm still working on figuring that out, Captain, because everything in my charts is designed to be viewed from within the galactic plane... and we are roughly 100 light years above it... I should have a better idea in the hour, but in the meantime...
The viewscreen comes on, giving James an incredible view of a much wider portion of the galaxy than he'd have normally been able to see from within the galaxy.
JAMES
Earth?
NOT BETSY
Dirt, sir? No, that's mostly stars. Billions of them in millions of star systems.
JAMES
Where Earth?
NOT BETSY
Where is... dirt... Sir, is your planet called Dirt?
JAMES
Shtupid translator. Earth! Yesh, home. Where? Sol system?
NOT BETSY
Your home system is called ... Star?
JAMES
*sigh*
NOT BETSY
YOU ARE READING
HUMANITY - (oops, sorry, pardon me)
Ficção Científica~~ #150 in Space ~~ Jame(s) Johnson is the only human in the entire galaxy not living on Earth, and he's just trying to get home. Taken mid-mouthful of poutine Jame(s) is abducted by aliens, later mistaken for a fern, and eventually learns just how...
