27: Gratitude

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Once I neared Kendra's neighbourhood, walking on the gravel road that led to it, I could already hear the chatter

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Once I neared Kendra's neighbourhood, walking on the gravel road that led to it, I could already hear the chatter. A short, stabbing pain pierced my heart as I stepped closer to their family home. It hurt only for a moment—it was gone quickly. Still, I knew exactly what that kind of pain meant. 

It was a small, nearly invisible dagger of guilt that cut through my chest.

Mother had always said; "There is no need for celebration. You were born and that is that." 

I could hear her cold voice resonate in my mind, sending a chill down my spine. As her daughter, shouldn't I follow in her footsteps? Do as she taught? She'd never deemed it necessary to celebrate ones day of birth. Yet here I was, going to a gathering thrown in my name, by someone else's mother. 

Was I a bad daughter for looking forward to it? For feeling happy that they had thought of me?

There was no time to dwell on my darkening thoughts for the door to the Denn's home opened before I had the chance to knock.

"Happy birthday!" a shrill voice yelled and pulled me into a tight embrace. 

As Kendra wrapped her arms around me, squeezing the life out of me, I surveyed the living room behind her. As far as I could tell, a very large portion of the pack was present. There were a few families missing and all of the council members. I wondered what they were up to, now? I couldn't help but contemplate wether the council had already found some kind of solution to the attacks. 

They must have been awfully active in the past few weeks. Mother didn't usually go there every day for the entire day. 

It was suspicious to say the least.

Something about it all wasn't right. I couldn't put my finger on what it was, but there was definitely something going on that a lot of us knew nothing about.

"Surprise!" Everyone shouted as soon as I stepped behind Kendra into the house, laughing and smiling faces greeting me.

Smiling back, the otherwise rather cool ocean inside of me grew warmer. Warmth rippled across the water in a steady motion, flowing through me.

I felt appreciative, being here, surrounded by people who cared enough to make an appearance. A small flower of despair tingled beneath the surface of my ocean. One person who should have cared enough wasn't here. I hadn't expected her to be—yet in a way, I would have wanted her around.

You'd think after twenty-one winters a person would get used to their mother's absence.

Though somehow I doubted anyone ever could get really get used to that.

When red haired Jaxxon walked towards me and came to a stop, with his usual scowl gone from his face, confusion built up and obliterated my thoughts.

Why wasn't he smirking? Where was the devious look in his brown eyes? Glancing around, I expected to see some of his friends standing behind him, smirking and whispering to each other.

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