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Dan broke down constantly over the next year. He told Phil as he cried at night that he could still hear the noises that his cat had made and the soft noise his paws made on the floors. So Phil, everyday, took him to the place his best friend was buried. They would hold onto each other's hands tightly, to warm them in the cold winter air but also as a reminder to one another that the other was there. Dan occasionally sat and stared at the bed that still lay on the windowsill when he was meant to be studying but this time Phil didn't try to help him because he knew there was no point.

As Christmas got nearer Phil knew exactly what he was going to get Dan. He would never even try to buy a replacement cat or kitten because that would only make things worse and also would end badly, so instead Phil decided to buy a custom soft toy of Alfie that was made to look exactly like him. He used one of the many collars that they had kept that had belonged to Alfie and then put it in a small box that had paw prints on it and hid it in his parents room.

Christmas morning had a rather happy and upbeat atmosphere but there was also the fact that Dan was spending it with Phil and his family as his parents were yet again away for work. Phil often wondered what Dan thought of his parents, wether he still loved them or if he wished they would just disappear entirely, they would've been as well to as most of Dan's belongings were now in Phil's house. The way Dan's eyes lit up when Phil handed him the pawprint patterned box would stay with him forever, the hope that had suddenly appeared. The shaky hands that took the top of the box quickly hugged the lookalike of Alfie to his chest tightly and looked at Phil with a huge smile and tears in his eyes, mouthing a small 'thank you' before being pulled into a tight and loving hug.

From Phil's parents Dan got some new clothes, shoes and even a few games for the three boys to play on together. Dan's parents on the other hand didn't even wish him a merry Christmas, no text, no hug, not even a smile. Phil couldn't understand why they ignored their son so much they didn't even give him a phone call at night or any time of any day.

Phil hadn't seen Dan as happy as this for a long time, the way the reflection of the candles at the table lit up his gorgeous brown eyes. Christmas dinner was always a special time but this year having Dan with them made it just that little bit more special. This time last year Alfie had sat on a chair in between the two of them as they go their photo taken this year however it was the cuddly version of him that sat between the two for a photo which wasn't nearly the same. After dinner Phil surprised Dan with one last gift, Moulin Rouge on dvd so that they could watch it together whenever they liked. Dan pulled Phil into a tight hug and thanked him over and over again.

Later that night they lay in Phil's bed, their bed, with their slices of cake and cuddled up to each other as Dan clearly couldn't wait to watch the film again. The boy's brown eyes seemed to dance along the screen of the small TV taking in every little detail, the two of them singing along with every song.

"How wonderful life is now you're in the world"

"Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen"

"All you need is love"

~~~


Almost a year had passed since Alfie had died and a lot had changed. Phil now made small YouTube videos occasionally with Dan's help using the camera that he had bought him for Christmas. Phil's channel was small but growing steadily although he knew in his heart that he would've much preferred for Dan to be with him in every video.

"Dan, could you be in this Q&A video with me please?"

Phil said while setting up his little camera looking over at the boy who was standing over at the mirror.

"Dan?"

"I..."

Turning around Dan almost burst with laughter from the expression on Phil's face.

"It's been a year since Alfie died so I thought why not remember him by drawing cat whiskers on my face"

"Give me some too?"

"Phil you are about to film a video"

"We can both wear them in the video"

"You are a strange on aren't you?"

Dan said with a laugh before holding Phil's head with one hand, just like he had when cleaning the scratches he had received on their first night together, and with his left hand he drew the cat whiskers carefully.

Dan loved watching Phil film his videos from a distance, the positive and enthusiastic side of him shining through more than ever but being in a video with him was a whole different experience. The way he would turn round and gaze at him occasionally with his beautiful blue eyes sent Dan into a fumble of words which wasn't very good when you were trying to read out viewers questions.

Phil's parents had many questions when they heard fits of laughter coming from the bathroom. Little did they know that the two boys were trying to frantically scrub the whiskers off of each other's faces before anyone seen them.

Going to school the next day there was still the faint lines of whiskers and they got many questions but made something up as Phil's YouTube channel was a secret.

Rachel had actually moved house and school after Phil's parents had argued with era after they refused to accept Phil and Dan. No one lost anything but them as when they moved they had to start from scratch again and they weren't exactly the most likeable people.

All You Need Is Love         PhanWhere stories live. Discover now