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Dan placed down the cardboard box on the unfamiliar laminate floor, a tear grew in his dark brown eyes as he studied the old piece of paper, many memories flowing back to him from all those years ago. He traced his hand over the words written in pen by the boy that he still loved after all this time, careful not to smudge it with the tears that fell from his face. They weren't just sharing a bedroom as teenagers anymore, they were now sharing their own flat and now both had YouTube channels that were more successful than they had ever been. But as always their videos together, especially those in memory of Alfie, were the most loved by those around them although like many other private things they hid their love for one another on camera in fear of the harsh judgement they were sure they would receive.

"Phil?!"

Dan called from the other room, Phil had been unpacking his boxes of the many random things he owned into his new 'room'. They didn't plan on having separate rooms but for the sake of YouTube they had decided on having two although Phil's room already had a bed in it.

"Yeah?"

"Come see this"

"I'll be there in a minute"

As Phil took a framed photo out of one of his many boxes a huge smile spread across his face, it was him, Dan and Alfie all sat around the table at Christmas with huge grins on each of their faces. He placed it on his chest of drawers that sat alone in the corner of the empty room and walked in to the other bare room, he had a concerned look on his face at the sight of a crying Dan until he noticed the piece of paper in his quivering hand.

"You kept that?"

Phil said with a slight laugh before wrapping his hands around Dan's waist and kissing his neck from behind, he looked over the boy's shoulder and read the letter back to himself.

"Obviously why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know it's just rather old I guess"

"Aw is little Philly embarrassed?"

Phil hid his face by burying it into Dan's neck, the memories of all those years ago were also coming back to him and his blue eyes began to well with tears. The thing he remembered most was the times when Dan looked into his eyes with that concerned and worried look on his face, like the time when Alfie scratched his neck or when he was sick, each time Dan's gentle eyes never failed to make him feel better and still continued to do so.

That night they had two rooms that felt homely, the living room and their bedroom. They sat together on their new couch that was still rather uncomfortable to sit on and watched the film that brought them together, Moulin Rouge. They hadn't seen it for year yet still somehow managed to sing the songs in time with each other. Although the day had been all to much for Dan who drifted off to sleep resting his head on Phil's chest and leaving him to cry at the death of Satine on his own. He didn't know why it made him cry every time even though he knew what was going to happen, maybe it was because in Christian and Satine he saw himself and Dan, a forbidden love that they tried desperately to hide and hold together, a love that in the end never died.

~~~

But as they slowly adjusted to the new living space and made it their own something was missing. It was so silent at night when the two of them slept even if one stayed awake to listen to the other breathing, there was just a certain presence missing.

Dan had thought about their time together over the years and had in fact considered buying a kitten or getting a rescue cat to help fill the place in his heart that Alfie had taken with him.

But was it to soon?

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⏰ Last updated: Sep 29, 2018 ⏰

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