Better Left Unsaid

broken

I am so lost right now. I don't know who I am. What I have become. What's in store for me. What my plan is.

I just know I am broken and I don't fucking know what I am doing anymore. It's always something. I hate that I'm still hoping that things are different when I know deep down that they aren't. It's like my body is on fire and everything is burning except the memories. That's the thing I want gone most. I wanna hit a delete button and everything be over, but that's not how the world works. I have to sit and suffer reliving every single memory. Feeling my heart shatter over and over again not knowing who to give the fucking glue to to help put the pieces back together, I can't even find the fucking glue so it's like nothing will end. I just want it all to end so badly and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it all end.

I'm struggling to keep going and I don't know how to keep my head up above water anymore and I am so ready to let whatever force is tugging me underwater to drown me. I don't know how to keep going and it's getting unbareable now.