Better Left Unsaid

Deep down

It's been 7 months now since you left my life. 7 months since I heard your laugh. 7 months since I spoke to you. 7 months since we broke up. I still sleep in your sweatshirt you said I could keep no matter what. I still reread our texts wishing for things to go back to the way they were before. I still cry over you and it's been 7 months now. I should have listened to all things I was thinking and saved myself from this much pain, but deep down I know I couldn't bear the thought of it. I should have known when the spark left your eyes when you saw me. I should have known the grip you had on my hand walking down the hall or the street that was loosening day by day. I should have known when the kisses turned from minutes to seconds. I should have known when the hugs became shorter. I should have known when your laugh became less joyful. Deep down I should have known all these things meant you were tired of me. I didn't want to admit it because you meant so much to me I couldn't bear the thought of me without you. Deep down I know it was for the best. Deep down the agonizing pain I feel in my heart even to this day is so strong that I want to scream until there's nothing left in hopes to shrink all of me. Deep down I want it to end. I want to take it all back, but relive every single detail of our relationship from start to finish. The good, the bad. All of it. But deep down its all for the best...