My heart can't let you go

Chapter 4

MC came out of the shower visibly more relaxed, and her mind felt much clearer. She made a decision and was determined to follow it through, even if she still wasn't sure how that would turn out. But in the meantime, there was something else that needed to be taken care of. MC and Saeyoung had to get Saeran out of Mint Eye and back to his brother's side, where he truly belonged. It wasn't going to be an easy task, but she had a good feeling about it. She had complete trust in Saeyoung and knew there was nothing that could stop the genius hacker, especially when his brother's life was at stake. MC changed into her clothes and began drying her hair off. That was when a strange feeling made her shiver slightly. She felt like she was being watched. MC quickly turned around and found Saeyoung leaning on the door frame. There was no mistaking it—the serious gaze from earlier was back in his eyes, and he was studying her quietly. She gulped, a bit distressed by the whole situation, but spoke up nonetheless.

"Hey! You gave me quite the scare! What are you doing there?" MC asked him with a playful tone in her voice.

Instead of answering, Saeyoung slowly moved closer to her, up until he was only inches from her body. MC felt suffocated by the sudden invasion of her personal space, but couldn't get herself to move. His beautiful amber eyes on her face were all she could think about.

"Saeyoung... Is everything alright?"

But he had no intention of being questioned right now. His slender fingers grabbed hold of her face, and he forcefully pressed his lips against hers in a rough kiss. MC's eyes widened in shock, and she tried to free herself.

"Mmm...MMM!" She whined against his lips, short of breath and getting even more scared with every single second.

When Saeyoung finally broke off the kiss, MC panted for breath. Her heart was beating faster than she could ever imagine. But she wasn't left with much time to calm down, because in an instant, Saeyoung pushed her down on the bed and locked his hands around her arms to keep her in place. His cold and demanding behavior was something she never expected, and it was really starting to freak her out. But MC tried to stay as calm as possible, even though her body was shaking slightly.

"You turned out to be quite bold, Saeyoung. And to think it took me so long to get a confession out of you." There was a glint of challenge in her eyes when she attempted a joke to mitigate the whole situation. But Saeyoung didn't even flinch. He reclaimed her lips for a long, thirsty kiss before moving them down to her neck, which he bit hard, causing her body to shudder under him. MC decided enough was enough.

"Saeyoung Choi, stop this right now! Or I swear I will..."

"Stop repeating my name..." He finally spoke, the tone of his voice cold and distant.

"Wh...at...?"

"I said, stop repeating my name. I don't want to hear it from you!" Saeyoung was almost shouting. His cold gaze was now replaced by one of anger. MC managed to push him off of her, to which he showed no protest but kept his gaze on her.

"What the hell has gotten into you? You don't want me to use your real name after you specifically asked me to do so? Fine then... Seven, will you explain why the hell you are behaving in such a way?"

"That's right, after all, in your eyes, I will always remain simply Seven from the chatroom."

"What... are you talking about?" MC had a bad feeling, and she was about to realize just how right she was in her suspicion.

"I know everything, MC... I know the whole story, so don't even try to deny it."

"Did you spy on me and Jumin?" Saeyoung gave no response, thus confirming her assumption. "That was a private conversation, and what you did is unacceptable."

"It's also not acceptable to keep something so serious from me!"

"Nothing would have changed, even if I did tell you. I was trying to protect you from getting hurt."

"Then why did you tell Jumin?"

"I... I won't apologize for my actions, Saey... Seven. I did what I thought was best for you, that's all."

"Well, you thought wrong! I trusted you, MC... I actually believed we could be happy together... I was such a fool to let myself think I actually had a chance for a decent, happy future." At that point, Saeyoung turned his back to MC and moved away from the bed. She was both pissed off and her heart ached for the man before her. MC stood up from the bed and did what she had been doing for the last couple of days—she fought for Saeyoung.

"Really? You are going to walk away from me just like that? Have you even considered how I feel about the whole situation? You listened to our conversation; you should already know that I didn't have much of a choice. That is in no way an excuse, but even if my behavior was wrong and unacceptable, I did what I did because I care. Because I couldn't stay away, even though I probably should have. Do you actually think I wanted things to be this way? I don't regret the happy moments I experienced with each one of you, and they will always remain in my heart. Sure, you can think I'm horrible. You can blame me for everything; that's fine with me. But there is one thing I will never apologize for, and that is the way I feel. Believe it or not, I really love you and want to be with you, and that will never change! You can hate me all you want, but I will stay by your side, I will help you find your brother, and I will do everything in my power to make you happy!"

At that point, Saeyoung could no longer stay still and turned around to face her. His eyes were glazed by the tears he couldn't hold back. MC's anger melted and her heart swelled in pain. In a couple of swift steps, she moved closer to him and took his glasses off. She carefully wiped his tears. Saeyoung didn't protest or move away. He no longer had the strength to fight against his true feelings. He had been doing so ever since the very beginning and failed yet again. Deep inside his heart, he knew how sincere MC's words are, but for a moment, his insecurities got the best of him again.

"MC...I..." Saeyoung's lips were trembling, and he bit them in a useless attempt to regain some self-control. "After your talk with Jumin, I was afraid I might lose you. That's why I did what I did." He realized how foolish his excuse sounded and shook his head. "I'm sorry I behaved this way... And I will understand if you don't want to be with me anymore. I wouldn't want to sabotage your true happiness.

MC blinked for a second before extending her hand and pulling Saeyoung's ear hard.

"Hey! Ouch! That hurts!"

"Of course it does!" MC let go of his ear and embraced him in a hug. "Don't say such foolish things! I'm here because I want to be, and I'm with you because you are important to me."

"But... what about Jumin?" Saeyoung couldn't help but ask, also wrapping his arms around MC.

"What I had with Jumin... is no more. While it's true that my feelings still remain, I won't go back. It's not fair to him, and it's not fair to you. I am done with this, Seven."

"Call me Saeyoung." The hacker mumbled.

"Make up your mind already!" MC teased him and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. "After we find Saeran, I will disappear from your life... from the lives of everyone in the RFA... That's the proper thing to do. I have no right to play around with everyone's feelings, no matter the situation I'm in."

"MC...No..."

"I'm sorry, Saeyoung... I wish there was another way, but I don't know what else I can do... My only comfort is that after I "reset," none of you will remember anything, so I can leave with no regrets. It will be alright, I promise."

MC noticed the pain in Saeyong's expression, and her heart felt like it was being cut into millions of tiny pieces. She enveloped Saeyoung in yet another tight hug, and whispered in his ear: 'Whatever happens, we will always belong to each other. So, please, let us enjoy the time we have left together. No more tears.' Saeyoung only nodded in response.

And they did. Both of them did their best while they made dinner, reviewed the plans for tomorrow's operation, and slept snuggled in each other's arms until it was time to leave.