Everything Has Changed (A Finn and Jack Harries FanFic)

Chapter 13

After taking a shower, I finally made my way downstairs. The hot water had rejuvenated me and I felt more alive than I had in days. A shower somehow managed to make everything better. Finn was waiting for me at the kitchen table, and as per usual, it was just the two of us. 

"I'm ready," I said, causing him to turn around. Even though I meant to go out, I think we both understood the greater connotation. I was ready to move on, to put this horrible mistake behind me and try and get back to normal with Jack. Finn nodded at me, smiling and walking out of the door. 

"Well, at least you don't look like a corpse anymore" Finn said, breaking the awkward silence that had risen as we walked. 

"Gee thanks Finn," I mumbled, unable to control my smile. 

"Where are we going anyway?" I asked him, realizing that we were just walking aimlessly.

"Since you're such a massive bookworm, I thought I'd take you to a second hand bookstore." He said, looking as if he was waiting for my approval. I grinned at him, giving him a hug.

"Thank you so much," I said as he held me, my head against his chest, hearing his heart beat. He jerked his hand away a moment later, as the awkward feeling spread around us. I pulled away, blushing slightly and looking in the other direction as we continued walking.

"So, are we going to talk about what happened or not?" I asked him quietly. He breathed out, running a hand through his chocolate hair.

"It was a mistake, a huge mistake. I know how terrible you must feel, but I did it to my own brother. How fucked up can someone get?" He said to me, voice rising with every syllable. 

"Finn, it wasn't just your fault. It's not like you trapped me, we're both to blame. I know I should tell him, I just-"

"No you cannot tell him. Absolutely not. He'll never look at either of us again," Finn replied, brows creased in frustration.

"But Finn-"

"No Lexi, please. If you care for him, and even me. Please you won't tell him." He added, looking at me in desperation. Even though my morals went against it, I agreed. Hell, who was I kidding? My morals had obviously flown out the window as soon as I decided to have sex with my boyfriend's brother. I sighed and nodded my head in agreement as he took a relieved breath of air. 

"It was a mistake" He repeated. And although I knew it was, I couldn't help but feel my heart drop. I nodded again.

"Right, well we're here anyway" He said, clearing his throat as if to dissipate the horrible tension that had arisen. I looked up to see a quaint little bookstore, making me feel a hundred times better. 

Walking in, I embraced the warm atmosphere. All four walls of the shop were lined from top to bottom with bookshelves, over flowing with all kinds of books. In one corner there were a few small chairs and tables, and a counter where people could get warm drinks and snacks. It was the most charming shop I'd ever been to, and somehow Finn had known that it would be perfect to cheer me up with. I felt another pang in my chest. I was so incredibly greedy, wanting both of the brothers like this, but I just couldn't help it. 

Finn led me to a table and sat down, avoiding my gaze all the while. 

"Um, you should try their hot chocolate, it's fantastic." He said, looking anywhere but me,

"I think I will, thanks," I replied shortly. A petite woman then came and asked us what we wanted, saving us from a few more awkward-moments which I was incredibly grateful for. Unfortunately, soon enough it was just the two of us again. I picked at my sweater intently as Finn drummed his fingers on the table, neither of us talking or even looking at each other. 

"So this is how it's going to be?" I finally asked, breaking the silence. He looked up at me slightly alarmed, and sighed after registering what I'd asked. 

"Look, you're the one who said we'd be friends and nothing more than friends, right? Why can't we just do that?" I pleaded, looking into his emerald eyes. He held the bridge of his nose, sighing as he tried to control his frustration.

"Okay, look I'm sorry. I don't usually become friends with the girls I fuck," He said, as I winced at his words. 

"God, I really can't say the right thing, can I? I'm sorry Lexi, I'm going to try. But it's just so strange," Finn adds, trying to redeem himself. I give him a small smile and nod, showing that I understand. Of course it was strange, and fucked up, but hopefully we'd be able to cope. 

"How about we look around the shop for a bit?" He offered with a hopeful smile. I nodded in reply, getting up and making my way to one of the walls. 

There was no order of books in the shop, no system. Usually this would have driven me up the wall, but for this little shop I found it fitting. Maybe I'd find something I hadn't even been looking for in the first place. 

----

After about an hour walking around, and picking up everything and anything that caught my eye, I was ready to leave. By this time I had a collection of about ten to fifteen second hand books, just waiting to be read. Finn and I thanked the woman behind the counter, making our way out and back into the chilly English air. 

"Thank you so much Finn, that's exactly what I needed" I said, smiling at him as we walked back towards the house. 

"You're welcome. So, what did you get anyway?" He asked, peering into the bag. Immediately, I pulled out an array of books, giving him backgrounds on the authors whenever I could and generally gushing until I thought the poor boy's ears would fall off. 

"You're like fucking wikipedia," He said when I was finished, looking at me like I was absurd. I looked down, chuckling nervously. 

"Sorry, I get excited" I replied, biting my lip and reminding myself to shut up next time. 

"I'm just joking, it's very endearing" He said nudging me. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks as I looked elsewhere to avoid any more awkward moments. 

"Fuck" I heard him say under his breath, as he focused on someone across the street. My gaze followed his, and landed on a very familiar looking redhead, although I couldn't quite recognize who she was. Instinctively, I touched his arm, seeing if he was okay. 

"Finn, what's wrong?" I asked, looking at his expression which on the surface was nothing short of murderous, but didn't quite conceal a slight sorrow in his eyes. As if shaking thoughts away, he shook his head, smiling at me as if nothing had happened. 

"It's nothing, don't worry." He said, giving me a strained smile as he continued to walk. 

As we neared the house, it dawned on me who the redhead had been. It was the same, beautiful girl we had seen at the amusement park that day, the one Finn and I had got into an argument over. Although I knew better than to push him for information by now, I couldn't help but be curious about who she was.

"She's the same girl from the amusement park," I said to him, causing him to turn around, fists clenched at his sides.

"We are not having this conversation again," Finn replied, breathing heavily. Instead of last time, where I caused an argument, I simply went and hugged him.

"Thank you for today Finn," I said quietly. He stood for a second, surprised at my reaction, before putting his arms around me in return. We let go of each other, smiling softly before walking into the house and our separate ways.