Without Me

Fast Lane

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Ashley left the shop, her phone to her ear calling Sam, asking him to pick her up right away. She was glad he didn't ask any questions concerning the situation. She told him to pick her up at the cemetery because she knew Marshall would come out looking for her and he wasn't the man she wanted to see at the precise moment in time.

So after a quick stop at the florist across from the cemetery, Ashley entered making her way towards his grave. Arthur was the only person she wanted to talk too, he'd been the only person for a long time, but the events from the past few days had made her realise that maybe she'd been attached for too long. That today was perhaps the day she'd finally manage to say goodbye for good.

The grass was slightly damp beneath her as she knelt down in front of his headstone, resting the Lillies gently against it. Her slender fingers slid across the words engraved on the cool stone, 'Always a hero to many, especially to his wife and son,' then down to his name, date of birth (1976), and finally the date of his death (2003). Thirteen years and at last she was finally going to say a proper goodbye.

''I should have said this a couple of weeks ago. Instead, I whinned at how much I missed you, and how hard it was to move on,'' she took a deep breath, going over the words in her head before speaking them out loud, ''so this is me saying I'm going to move on because for the longest time the love I had for you set me back. For a minute I thought Alonzo was going to be the one to get me back on track, but I was wrong. So all I ask if for a sign Art, a sign to point me in the right direction. A sign to tell me who should have come after you, all along,'' Ashley sat back on her heels before propping herself into a crouching position to allow her to fully stand up straight, ''this is me saying, goodbye Arthur Jamie Calderon. I'll still visit, but it won't be when I'm upset or mad or angry, it'll be when I wanna sit and remember those short years we had together.''

Ashley's cheeks were dry, not a single tear had fallen from her eyes. She'd come for closure and she'd gotten it. Standing up, placing a kiss on the headstone, she realised that a huge weight had lifted from her shoulders, and a hole that had been left from his death in her heart, was starting to heal. Now all she needed to do was wait for the sign, the sign that would set her back onto the right path so she could continue the journey she'd started all those years ago with Arthur.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, it was a text from Sam saying he was by the gate. With one final glance back at where Arthur lay, she texted him back saying she was on her way out and that she wanted to stop off at the Tattoo parlour before she went anywhere else.

The journey to the parlour was conducted in silence, Sam understood Ashley didn't want to talk. He also understood that a lot of the decisions she made were spur of the moment, yet they all interconnected with each other one way or another, so he never ever questioned her actions. That was why he was quite happy to sit and watch as Dani, the tattoo artist Ash and Marshall had used for a while now, engraved the name Talia onto what had been dubbed The Wheel of Hate.

The Wheel consisted of many names belonging to those that Ashley didn't partially love, the first ever name belonging to Toby Blackwood, who had been the husband of Sarah Blackwood, her first guardians. That's story, however, is one for another time.

''What did Taila do to deserve this?'' Dani asked as she neatly finished off the name, writing it in on the empty segments of the wheel.

''I just realised I should have paid a lot more attention to everything she's done since I've known her,'' that was the only answer Dani was getting as Ashley handed her a few dollar bills before turning to talk to Sam.

''I want to go home,'' the door clanged shut behind her, Dani not realising that wasn't the last thing the redhead had said, ''pack a few clothes and go to Sarah's for the night, I need to clear my head and well what better place than the house and people that made me who I am,'' Sam nodded taking her first to her house then off to the other side of Detriot to her teenage one.