You woke up to the overwhelming stench of cigarettes, you turned over towards the window and saw Scott. He looked broken. You felt awful for what had happened, you didn't know what to say. All you could think about is how if maybe you had listened to Scott all of this could've been avoided. You wanted to leave so bad but you knew they needed you, you had no idea why, after all you're the one who caused all the heartache.
While you were deep in thought Scott turned around and smiled at you. You quickly laid down and pretended to be asleep.
"You spyin' on me over there?" He chuckled as he took a long drag off his cigarette.
"You know Sam doesn't really want anyone to smoke in here, right?" You said.
He walked over and blew the smoke right in your face and began to tickle you.
During those few minutes you actually felt happy for the first time in a long time. It felt like none of it had ever happened. No heartache, no pain, no tears. It was great. Until he said you two had to get going. You saw the light that was once in Scott's eyes for a moment die when he delivered the dreadful but expected alert.
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For majority of the car ride you two remained silent, occasionally sharing a laugh at small things. You mainly focused on the scenery. To most they wouldn't give the 7th ward a second glance, but you were different. You were fascinated by it's odd yet sorrowful beauty. You couldn't help but tear up when looking at the neglected buildings & homes, along with the unkept lawns, and the graffiti. It was different than what you were used to back home.
After what seems like only 2 seconds you two arrive at the hospital. You felt bad that you dreaded to see him, but you just couldn't face him, not after what happened between you and Scott.
What if he hates me?
What if I walk in and I upset him again? I can't do this. No no no no.
Your thoughts are quick interrupted by a sorrowful Scott informing you that it's time to go in.
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You two make your way up to Ruby's room, Scott lightly knocks on the cracked door before entering, you follow behind him slowly.
"Hey cousin come give me a fuckin hug" Ruby greets Scott.
He looked awful, you couldn't help but think that this was your fault.
If I had just resisted temptation and not let jealousy come over me this would have never happened.
I can't do this. I can't do this.
You're quickly snapped out of thought once again by Scott clearing his throat and gesturing for you to come greet Ruby.
"h-h-hey" you say, nervous of how he's going to respond to your presence.
Scott senses the tension and decides to make up an excuse to leave you and Ruby alone.
"I'm fucking starving, are you starving? I'm gonn go look for a vendin machine" He says while walking out.
You grow uncomfortable with the situation and stand there unsure of what to do next. You want to apologize and sob in his arms but you keep your composure and remain silent until Ruby begins to speak.
"You can sit down ya know? I don't bite." He chuckles lightly.
You sit down at the edge of his bed, releasing a sigh as you continue to stare at the floor in silence.
"I'm sorry" Ruby mumbles.
"W-what?" You reply confused as to why he's the one apologizing.
"..I was drunk and stupid and desperate I shouldn't have went back to her.. there's just a lot of history between us, ya know?" He explained with a guilty expression on his face, while he rubbed his hands over his face.
You began to tear up, you felt horrible, you knew if anyone should be apologizing it should be you. You wanted to apologize but you didn't know how. You didn't want to say the wrong thing and send him into even more despair. You went to apologize but before you could he let out a groan.
"Are you okay?" You asked leaning towards him to see what's the problem.
"yeah..yeah.. I'm fine..just some slight pain.." he responded.
You wanted to hold him and tell him you're sorry, you wish you could go back and not fuck around with Scott at all. You both sat in silence until Scott returned. Him and Scott made conversation for awhile occasionally including you. Eventually it was time you two made your way home. And as you went to walk out the door something stopped you. You knew you couldn't just leave without saying something.
"Ari?" You called out.
"yeah?" He replied.
"I'm sorry..."
