Beside You *Muke*

Chapter 8

Trigger warning: Self harm scenes are mentioned towards the end of the chapter. 

My bruises had begun to heal and I walked around town with a sense of confidence. Michael and I had grown closer ever since that night I spent over at his house and by the time I went home the next day, my father was asleep on the couch, not even having remembered the drunken conversation he had had on the phone hours before.

I find Michael humming my new song I had sung to him last week under his breath, making me smile. "Hey Mikey," I mumble, playfully taking his guitar from his hands and strumming it skillfully.

"Someone's in a good mood," He smiles lightly, making me laugh.

"I guess I am," I admit sheepishly. "It's just... everything's been going my way lately and that makes me happy,"

Michael claps a hand on my shoulder, smile widening and he says, "How about I buy you a muffin at the bakery and then I can preform for a little while?" The suggestion is a nice one so I find myself nodding my head. "So what kind of muffin do you like?" He asks me as we get up to the counter.

I shoot Cher a smile and mumble, "Can I have a chocolate chip muffin please?" as I look down at my shoes. Cher laughs slightly, nodding and right as I was about to pull out my wallet, Michael smacks my hand away and hands her my pay. The brown haired girl smiles and hands me my muffin before bidding Michael and I goodbye.

"So why're you so shy, Lukey?" Michael asks once the two of us had taken a seat at one of the booths in the far corner of the bakery.

"Uh, I dunno, I've sort of just been brought up that way," I mutter as I pick at my muffin. "Thanks for paying for me. You really didn't have to."

Michael snorts, making me smile and says, "Sure I did. That's what you do on dates, right?" I just about choke on a bite of muffin at his words, my heart fluttering excitedly in my chest. "I'm just kidding, Luke," He tells me lightly, not missing a beat and I feel my mood suddenly plunge.

"Yeah, of course," I say quickly, not missing my cue. I continue to pick halfheartedly at the overly expensive muffin, mumbling one word answers Michael's way, disappointment seeping into my bones. But honestly, who was I kidding? This wasn't a date. Michael wasn't gay and he would never like me.

"You ready to watch me preform, mate?" He asks when I throw away my muffin wrapper. I nod, forcing a smile as the two of us leave. Cher shoots me a saddened expression on the way out and I shake my head lightly with a sigh. She waves at me and I return it halfheartedly before the two of us take a seat at his water fountain. He mounts his guitar on his lap, placing his powerful fingers on the strings before clearing his throat and starting. I don't recognize the song but all I knew was that it was wonderful, especially coming from his lips.

All too soon, the song ends and I errupt into halfhearted claps of applause. "Encore, encore," I encourage him and he sends me a cheeky smile before starting again.

I am lost into a world of thoughts then. I knew I shouldn't have been upset with Michael's comment at the bakery but I was which was completely stupid.

Michael.

Wasn't.

Gay.

I almost break down at the thought. Just because he was my friend and made me happy, didn't mean he liked me in that way. I hold back a sigh, feeling frustrated tears pool in my eyes. This wasn't fair.

"You alright?" Michael asks me when he finds me staring down at my hands.

"Great," I lie through my teeth, forcing a smile. "But uh, I better get going," I mumble, getting up from the fountain and starting to walk home. The fact that Michael doesn't even try to help me breaks my heart even more and I come into my house with tears steaming down my face. My father was off to work so I had the house all to my house and for that, I was glad.

My wrists burn and I pick at my healing cuts, eager to grab my blade from under the sink. Here I was again, breaking down even though I promised myself I wouldn't. I couldn't handle this anymore. It all became too much.

I bring the razor to my wrist, making five long cuts down the width of my pale skin. The pain brought great relief and for that, I'm glad. The blood dripping down my wrist kept me from thinking about Michael and that made me smile. I was ready to think about anything as long as it didn't involve that purple haired boy.

After a few other deep gashes, I put my razor away, wrapping up my cuts and putting on a baggy hoodie. I stand out on my balcony and have the cool wind whip at my face before I hear a car horn. I stare out the window toward the road and my eyes widen when I find Michael's SUV in front of my house. "What're you doing here?" I ask with confusion when I head down the stairs to met him at the porch steps. 

"I just-- I wanted to talk to you. My mom was asking about you. She wanted to see if you could come over for dinner. I told you she liked you, Lukey," A smile flits onto Michael's face and my heart flutters at the nickname he used. The only people who had called me that were Ashton and my father and yet, my heart did a flip-flop whenever he said it. 

"Um, y-yeah, sure. What time?" I agree halfheartedly. 

"How's about when you get off work?" He asks.

"Uh, yeah, sure. That sounds fine," I offer a smile and he returns it. "I'll see you then... Mikey," I whisper, surprised his nickname had ran off my tongue so easily. Michael doesn't seem to mind, only fixes his lavander hair and waves lightly before heading back to his car. 

The only thought running through my mind? What the hell had I just gotten myself into? 

Hey guys. I hope you liked it. Thank you for nearly 150 reads. It means a lot. I love you all and will talk to you next chapter. 

-Shianne xx