Love Notes| ✓

05 | Dear Future Husband

Dear Future husband,

                                     I'll be honest with you, I won't be easy. I'm not easy. You should understand that love -in general- isn't easy.You will have to fight for me. For years I've built walls around my heart. I was neglected, insecure and hurt. It wasn't by the boys I've fell in love with only but others that were around me. I'm sure I will confess to you one night. When I'll be at my most vulnerable, my weakest moment. When I'm burned out. You will grab me into you loving embrace and fill me with your sweet words.  As I cry and tell you everything you didn't know, as the tears stream down my face. You will wipe them with you thumb and grab my face closer as you look me straight into my eyes. You will whisper "I love you so much, I would never hurt you. I promised that I will protect you, support you and most importantly love you." and I hope you mean it. I really do. I hope you keep your promise too.
After you are done saying your sweet words and my aching heart stops along with my waterfall of tears, you will grab me closer as you connect your lips to mine. Your lips will be the missing piece of the puzzle that I've been searching for years and only then will I understand why. Why god never made any of those hopeless crushes work out because he had something else in store for me. Something better. Something .....you.

Lover, we will fight. A lot. I'm a stubborn woman
In.
A.
Lot.
Of.
Things.
But, I hope you don't get mad with me, be patient with me. Please. Treat me the way romantic men treat women in movies. I don't expect our relationship to be all rainbows and flowers and to have a smooth sailing ship.
There will always be rain before the rainbow, there will always be a harsh winter before the soft breeze of spring brings in the blooming flowers, there will always be a scary thunder storm before we reach our shore.

But we will get through it, together. Because we both love each other. Love! For years I thought it was such a stupid thing. It was some illusion, fairly tales that were told to girls at such a young age. Disney movies also illustrated that into the minds of little girls. You are never fine until a man saves you! Lover, I don't want you to rescue me, unless I ask you too. I want our relationship to be balanced. I will- trust me- I will ask you a lot questions. Like "who was she?" "where have you been?" "why are you late?" Hell, I will stay up to start integrating you. You will get irked with it but understand that this is my nature. I want us to strip our clothes and be honest with each other. I don't mean making love. But honesty is such an important thing in any type of relationship. I want us to be honest with each other.

Lover, I don't know where you are at this current moment, or what are you doing. But I know you are coming. I believe that you will change my picture about love -which will be a hard thing to do- but I have faith in us.

And if you aren't coming then it is written for me in this world to not feel the gentleness of love, but I feel it. I feel the gentleness of love within myself. Because I learned to love myself.