Love Notes| ✓

06 | Dear Me

Dear me,


      You understand how hard it is living in this age. Everything is passing by so quickly and you feel like everything is running passed you and you are stuck in your place and cannot move. Time is running, every one has everything planned but you.Have faith. It is normal. Don't feel the pressure of everyone because every one has their own pace. Your time will eventually come. I know you aren't a very patient person but, like you always do, you will get through it.

  I want to be honest with you. I want to start off with apologizing to you. I have put you through a lot. I don't only mean by love but through a lot in general. I will not lie, we both went through a lot. The difference between you and our crushes you were always there. Although you didn't have much of an option. You didn't leave me. A part of me felt like giving up. I was so close on giving up on us! But your voice rang through my head, "give yourself a chance." you would say. "Patience"

The exams, the stress, the hours spent crying in our room. You were there. When I couldn't tell my parents that I'm suffering from depression, you were there. When I couldn't speak out my feelings on something, I would turn toward you. You heard me. You understood me.
I learned that life is exactly like a roller coaster. It has the ups and downs, it can be scary but eventually the ride will end, so it better to just enjoy the ride. Through this rough ride, I've learned a lot about myself. To me, the most important lesson was loving myself. 

I learned that if I cannot love myself, then who will? People change and they will leave. I'm left with emptiness and the sadness with no one to fill the void. This is why I cannot let my happiness depend on anyone. I've come in this world all alone and I will die alone. I won't take anything or anyone to the grave with me. 

I stopped holding onto empty promises. People promise that they will stay but they end up leaving. People are all talk but no action. I've learned that words are easy to say. People say them all the time! But actions are more important. Therefore, I decided to let people go and just let the universe take control and play out what is planned for me.  

Dear me, I write this as a reminder for you. When time gets rough, I want you to remember these words. You have yourself in this world. I'm not saying you cannot have friends to trust. I'm just saying to not pressure yourself. Some people are not worth the headache. Some people are not worth the heartache. And some people are not worth the time. So, I'm asking you to focus on the most important thing: yourself.