Rated X Imagines

Difficult Life || Mini Story

Y/n's POV

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"What are you saying to me? You think I don't want you? Baby, I love you more than my own life. My words will never seem to get through to you about how much I care for you. I just got you back." I shook my head in disbelief of his words.

This is what's best. I've been living my life without him for five months and before I even met him. We aren't a coexisting pair in relationships. "Tell me that you can live and love without me. I'll sleep better at night knowing that at least one of us will come out okay in this."

"No. No. No, never. I will never be able to live or even think about loving without you in my life. I couldn't eat or fucking sleep for two months straight, just thinking about you. I was at the your job every day for an hour at the front door waiting for you to show up. In my lowest point in life, you were the only one able to see past that. Fuck Jessica, fuck my life, fuck anything else in the world. I. Just. Want. You."

If my tears were one hundred dollar bills, I'd be rich. He wants me. No, he loves me. My insecure side of me keeps saying, no he still wants Jessica.

"Forever and a day?" I whispered, clutching his hands.

"Forever and a day, baby. I'm gonna drop you off at your house so you and your friend can pack your stuff. Call me when you're ready."

I just nodded my head as an indication that I was okay. My thoughts were strewn all around my head screaming 'he loves me!' But as absurd as it seems, I still have my doubts. What if it has been too long, and I'm not what he wants anymore. Will he make love to me? Knowing that tons of men have put themselves inside my well-being. Ludicrous judgements that I have to take into consideration.

The car ride back to the crack house was silent. I didn't like that all that much. Especially since it was me avoiding conversation. Come on stupid brain! I just got him back, and I don't even want to talk to him. Tell me how that makes any kind of sense? I'm just a whore. I'm used, beat up, maltreated and he still wants me.

"We're here, babe." His words brought me back into reality.

I willed myself to speak. "Oh, thanks. Umm I'll call you when we're ready if that's okay with you." He knew something was up with me. My body language spoke it all. I was tense, I stuttered with my dialect, and my eyes never met his. As I tried to get out, he pulled me back and locked the doors.

"Y/n what's wrong? We were just happy a second ago." Should I tell him? Tell him how I think of myself as nothing. Because I am. He'll retaliate and say something like 'No, you aren't baby.' Or 'You shouldn't think of yourself like that.' It's the truth, hidden within the folds of a lie in itself.

"I'm a whore." What's the point in lying at this point?

"No you aren't baby." Ha, what did I tell you. "Don't think of yourself like that. You are a princess." I thought of 90% of those statements. He's wrong, all I cause is misery. A coincidence? Not really.

"Do you really think that we'll be the same? Like we once were. I hoed myself Diggy. My body is trash. It's been hit so many times that I've lost count. You actually want a prostitute. Someone who's had sex more than three times a night, only to save up for a college that I know I'm not going to get accepted into. I'm... I'm just a wreck. And I know we've made up, and I love you. But Diggy, all I want is for you to be happy. Tell me what I have to do to make you happy."

One tear betrayed him, sliding down his cheek. "I'll build you back up, we can, we can work this out baby. You shouldn't feel defeated. Your life has a purpose. You can make me happy, by telling me that we won't ever be apart anymore, tell me that."