𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 | KTH ❄️

|67| fresh start

Last night was the toughest night of my life. I can't believe Taehyung would go back to Mulan after everything she's done. After everything we've been through. I really thought he moved on from her... But it's clear now that whenever something doesn't go his way she's the one he'll run back to.

Or maybe this is all my fault. I mean he wouldn't have done what he did if I hadn't—

No. He didn't have to take things to that extreme. Although I suppose we're both guilty of that.

I admit I was wrong for ever bringing up his parents. It wasn't right to lash out at him with business I had no right commenting on, especially something so personal. However that still doesn't excuse his actions.

Yes I was scared... But not of him. Not because I thought he would hurt me. If that were the case I wouldn't have come back. I was scared that I'd let him down and fail to be by his side when he tried rescueing himself. The thought of him whirlpooling back into that dark hole while I did nothing to help is what frightened me.

I knew he wouldn't hurt me... But after last night, now I'm not so sure. Because that scared me.

I decided to walk to school using the long route instead of taking the bus to stay unseen. Crying myself to sleep last night resulted in red, swollen eyelids that my concealer barely managed to cover.

It's been a little over a week since I've been at school, but I thought since it's our final week I might as well suck it up and make an appearance. Staying home after what happened with Taehyung would only depress me even more.

I walk down the empty sidewalk, growing closer to a bus-stop where somebody occupies the bright red bench. As I get closer I become familiar with the figure, identifying it as Mulan's. She holds her arms from the cold breeze grazing by, with about three luggage bags littered around her.

When I get close enough my feet come to a halt and I simply stare at her. She looks at me from the corner of her eye, shaking one leg in anticipation for the bus. The rim of her eye-whites are tinted red as if she had been crying just as much as me. There's also gritted streaks of mascara smeared down her eyes. She turns the other direction, still holding a frown.

"What." She sniffs, "Come to laugh?"

"Where are you going with all this luggage?"

"...I'm leaving."

"Leaving?"

"Yes, leaving. As in going home and not coming back, so there now you have him all to yourself." She snaps.

"Do you really think I want him after what you two did? Why the sudden change of heart, huh? I thought you wanted to stay here and be with him more than anything."

She pouts her lips and shrugs with a shaking head, staring amongst the road. "What's left for me here? Taehyung's changed since the last time I saw him. More than you could ever understand. Somehow he's matured and I've become the desperate one... I didn't think he was serious about you at first. I couldn't understand why he'd love an ordinary girl thirsty for some cash. I couldn't understand what made you so much more special than me, though for some reason I guess you are. In most ways, it still doesn't make sense to me—"

"First of all," I snap back,

"When I applied to the cafe I had no idea Taehyung was rich— in fact I'd never heard of him. Yes, I wanted to work to make money, that's what a job is, but I don't hurt him and tell him it's love Mulan. When he came to you and told you what he did, you manipulated him and convinced him he was some animal that couldn't be loved by anyone else, just so you could have him all to yourself. You liked feeling needed by somebody so you broke him down. Because of you, Taehyung has shut out so many people in his life even if he didn't want to. I tried to give him the love you deprived him of. That's what separates us. Maybe things would have turned out differently if you actually loved him, but you're incapable of that. I'm not a gold digger, I genuinely loved the cafe like a second home and would work there for free if it meant I got to see my friends every day, but you somewhere in that feeling was something you couldn't understand... You just had to come back and ruin everything..."