"Seoul" BBH | PCY

오

AN: I will say a trigger warning right here and now. This chapter will feature a mention of bulimia and before you attack me for it; I'm not joking around with it. I added it in the story because I wanted to reflect myself on Chanyeol in this story a bit. And before you ask, yes I'm a former bulimic but I'm recovering and I'm healthy so don't worry about me. I don't condone bulimia or any sort of eating disorder and if you know you or someone else has it then please either search help or try to help the person. Don't pressure them to eat but just make them realise that they're slowly killing themselves. I was bulimic because I got bullied for being "fat" in 5th grade then chose the hard and unhealthy way to lose weight which was bulimia. I don't open up about this a lot because I'm not proud of it. Doing this is a huge deal for me even if only 100 people will see it, I don't care as long as someone will. Don't ever choose bulimia as a method of weight loss, please. As I said, I'm way healthier now. I've remained in a skinny body but it's not freakishly skinny and I'm more muscular now since my boyfriend, Daniel, and I have recently started going to the gym together or well he already went but he requested that I tried and went with him and so I did. That was kind of an unnecessary story sorry lol but I'm serious about the bulimia thing. Anyways have a great day!

Chanyeol's P.O.V

"Wait, I'm confused, someone explain this to me." Yixing said over Skype.

"Chanyeol's ex who cheated on him back when we were in Havana for a week is in Korea now, and Chanyeol made a scene in the staff room to his mom's restaurant. He also scared some of the rookies, and yes by rookies I do mean some of the SM rookies. They need to earn money somehow." Jongdae explained over Skype to Yixing, making the older finally understand it.

"What's he even doing here in Korea anyway? Hasn't he hurt you enough?" Kyungsoo asked me.

The event that was currently unfolding was the guys and I, all Skyping, because of my whining and begging.

"I have no idea, but he has a daughter now. Poor girl, being raised by a rat." I scoffed, and rolled my eyes.

We kept talking for another hour or two, about what we all were doing and how it was going. I heard a knock, coming from my front door, and got up to answer it.

I looked through the peep hole first. I then opened the door, when I noticed who it was.

"Oh manager-nim, come inside. Want something to drink?" I asked my manager, and they kindly refused.

"Chanyeol, we need to talk about your comeback. You can't keep helping your mom in the café, if you want to make a comeback the day it's scheduled. You've been neglecting practice completely, and if we don't start moving then you could end up in a lot of trouble. Not only with me, the staff members or Lee Sooman, but your fans too." They said.

I sighed and nodded, before making a cup of coffee for myself.

I turned around while waiting for the coffee to finish. I look down onto the group, to avoid my manager's eyes.

"I know, it's just.. I haven't been feeling well lately, a lot of stress is on my shoulders right now, and it'll effect my voice badly if I record the last, now." I explained, but in all honesty it was an excuse.

I wasn't stressed at all, and just wanted a break for a bit. My manager sighed.

"Chanyeol, I get it that you're tired and want to rest, which you will after the promotions, but if we don't get that album recorded then the consequences will appear bigger, and you might even lose fans for false hope of a comeback." They explained.

"Look, tomorrow at lunch, you have a photoshoot, then the day after let's go to the studio and finish the last few songs, then it'll be over and you'll have around 2-3 weeks of break before the promotions start. Okay?" My manager suggested.

I knew better than to argue with my manager, so I agreed to take the offer.

"Alright. Also, Chanyeol. Remember to eat properly, but keep your current diet going, so you won't gain loads of weight. Don't eat ramyeon all of the times because they're just—"

"Empty calories, I know. You say this every time you leave. I'll make sure to eat healthily, while still remaining skinny, don't worry." My manager nodded, and got up from the table.

They grabbed their stuff, and I followed them to the door. I bid them goodbye, then closed and locked the door.

I sighed and waited until I couldn't hear the footsteps anymore. I went back into my room and told the others goodbye.

I then went to the kitchen to make some food. Was I gonna obey my manager's wish of me not eating ramyeon?

No, not really.

I didn't really care, since it would all disappear faster than I ate it.

I know that my mom hates what I'm doing to myself, but it's either that or a harsh diet that'll kill me before vomiting does.

My mom knows about my bulimia, and I'm not proud of it. In fact, I hated it.

The fact that Baekhyun pointed it out so easily made me uncomfortable as hell, too. I didn't want him to see me like that, I wanted him to see me like someone strong who's moved on already, but I guess god wasn't on my side this time.

After the ramyeon was done, I ate it in a slower than usual tempo. My mind was occupied by Baekhyun.

The way he's matured, but still looks the same like he did 5 years ago. He probably still sees me as the whiny kid from 5 years ago, but as long as he was still thinking of me— no!

That's not what I should be thinking! Dammit.

The sudden mix of emotions inside of me had me all over the place. I was sad, angry yet felt like I was missing Baekhyun.

I decided it was enough ramyeon and threw out  the rest, then went to the bathroom.