The Identity Crisis

Haven

Chapter 9

The force of the blow knocks me back onto the floor. A gasp escapes my lips, the only sound is the distant sound of yelling.

"Kota stop! That's my sister!"

"You told us about her Bry, she can't be trusted."

"And how do you know that?!"

"Would you two stop? What have I told you all about making assumptions." I feel Raymond's arms lift me to my feet. I blink the haze from my eyes. I look up at my brother, then to the other man. He's an inch taller than my brother, dark skin and eyes. He wears a black jacket and his hair is woven into long braids. His neck and chest are covered in colorful tattoos. He stares down at me. I bite my lip, avoiding his gaze.

"Go on Erica, tell them." Bryan smiles. I look over to the group that is still sitting on the floor.

"Uh... Hi, I'm Erica... Bryan's sister... I came here looking for him because..." I take a breath. "I realized that I'm... That I'm gay too..." I look back to Bryan. The room is silent. Bryan takes a step back, looking down at his feet. He looks back up to me.

"Erica... I- I never knew that you were. You never told me." He shakes his head.

"I was scared... I thought if I reject it then it would just go away... But it never did so..." I bite my lip.

"Well, in that case, you're welcome here." Bryan puts a hand on my shoulder. "I'll show her around Ray. Hope you don't mind." He shrugs.

"That's fine. Just stay on the second floor." Raymond looks down at me, narrowing his eyes. He turns and walks off down the hall. I take a breath, turning back to Bryan.

"Well, welcome to The Haven, Erica." He chuckles. "First off, Erica, this is Dakota. We call him Kota for short."

"Nice to meet you. Sorry I punched you in the face. If Bryan trusts you, so do I." Kota shrugs then walks off to the group. In total there are six people in the room. Kota sits down next to a girl with short buzzed dark hair and skin. She wears just a purple faded tank top that reads 'Crush the Patriarchy' and strums a guitar that is brightly decorated with roses and skulls.

"Hey, Erica. I'm Keena. This idiot's sister." The girl shrugs. Kota rolls his eyes.

"Thanks, Kee."

The other two look up at me with curiosity. The girl on the left sits in a wheelchair. A tiny gasp escapes my lips as I realize she only has one leg. The other boy leans on one arm. He flashes a grin at me.
"Hey, I'm Jack. This is Monica."

"I can answer for myself dumbass." Monica rolls her eyes.

"Hey, watch your language." I glare over at Monica.

"I'll say whatever I want. You're not my mom." Monica folds her arms.

"That doesn't mean you should go on swearing like that," I argue.

"Erica please calm down. Keira didn't mean it." Bryan takes my shoulder.

"Oh no I meant it. God I'm so tired of~"

"Don't you dare say that," I feel Bryan tug on my shoulder. He pulls me out of the room and slams the door shut before I can utter another word.

"Erica please, be quiet. I know this is a lot right now, so please just calm down and let me explain." Bryan sits down against the wall. I slide down next to him, folding my arms. "I'm sorry about Kiera. She shouldn't have been disrespectful to Jack. And to you."

"I've never seen a woman do that before... Talk to a man like that..."

"There are a lot of things here to get used to. It'll take time, but for now, I can explain somethings." Bryan turns to face me.

"Well, first explain what this is. This place."

"This is Michigan's, Safe Haven. Composed mostly of people that are 'homosexuals' as most people nowadays call them. Here, we are known as Refugees." Bryan pushes himself to his feet, then helps me up. We start down the hall.

"Why Refugees?" I ask.

"We come to the Haven after surviving the wrath of the government. People that are able to escape home or detention centers. People come from pretty much everywhere." We walk out to another hall.

"Why don't you call yourselves homosexuals?" I bite my lip.

"It's seen as a derogatory term, and it's used by the government too. We use Refugees to protect ourselves. Use it as a cover name so we aren't caught."

"Sure..." My eyes begin to wander. People walk up and down the halls. Before I didn't notice how they dress. Some are dressed in normal citizen clothing, others are dressed in brightly colored and oddly decorated clothes. A man walks by wearing black, knee-high socks, and ankle boots. He gives me a warm smile as he passes me.

"Everyone here is free to be themselves. Their authentic selves. Whether that means dressing in a different gender's clothes, or just making friends. Whatever you want to be. You can do it here." Bryan explains.

"So... Does that mean people can date here?" I ask.

"Of course... That's kind of the point. Being able to choose who you want to date."

We turn the corner and start down a new hall. The hall is lined with lockers, the lights above are flickering with age. We pass two girls that are holding hands. One of them gives the other a kiss on the cheek. I avert my eyes, straining not to gag. I blink, biting my lip. We exit that hall to another, I shake the image from my mind.

"So... Raymond, does he run this place?" I ask, brushing my hair from my eyes.

"They do. By the way, Raymond doesn't like to go by that call them Ray." Bryan explains.

"Oh. So, is he gay too?" I ask.

"Actually no. Ray just is Ray."

"So he's straight?"

"No," Bryan slows to a stop.

"So he's not straight or gay? What does that mean? He's some alien?" I roll my eyes, looking back at Bryan.

"You could say that," Bryan shrugs.

"Wait, what?!" My eyes widen.

"Ray isn't either. Their not a he either."

"Oh, so he's a trans freak?" I ask.

"No. Ray is neither. Not straight, nor gay. Not a boy or girl." Bryan explains. I stop in my tracks, glaring back at Bryan.

"Not a boy or girl? So what is he?!" I scoff.

"Ray is asexual. They're not attracted to anyone. Sexually that is. And they're nonbinary. They don't label themselves as a boy or girl. They are neither." Bryan shoves his hands in his pockets. I look down at the floor, my head spinning.

"So, all of that. Here is... Acceptable." I look up at Bryan.

"Of course. Also, don't call Ray 'he'. They don't really mind getting misgendered, but it's just polite. Call Ray they, or them." Bryan shrugs.

"Oh... ok..." I shake my head.

"I know it's a lot right now. It's late anyway. Come on, I'll take you to a room and we can get some sleep." Bryan steps to the side and opens a door to his left. I follow him into a dark room. Two other unknown people are already passed out on the floor, wrapped in each other's arms. Bryan lies down, pulling his jacket off and using it as a pillow.

"Sorry, we don't have beds here. It would be suspicious if we stole them. Get some sleep, we have a long day tomorrow." Bryan rolls over and closes his eyes. I take a breath, stripping off my jacket. I lie down, looking up at the ceiling. Music and talking echoes off in the distance, muffled by the walls around me. My eyes shift around in the dark, before finally shutting.

Author's Note: I went back and forth on whether to use the language I did in this chapter. As usual, I ended up saying, "screw it." Thanks for the support.