The Identity Crisis

Darkness Again

Chapter 17

Do I think being gay is evil? I do. I do. Why do I help these people? I should want them to die. But why not? Why do I have that voice in my mind that tells me to help these people? Is it Bryan? Is it Ray? Or is it something else?

The others got shoved into the backs of cargo trucks. Barely any standing room left in each. They put me in another black van. The dark, tinted windows are familiar in a way. I know why they keep me alive. Mercy comes with a price. I shuffle in my seat, the hard metal digs into my thighs. I lean forward, straining to look up through to the front of the truck. Two soldiers sit in front of me. I bite my lip. I lean my head back and look up at the ceiling. The truck rumbles along to the beat of the pounding in my head. I notice a different noise.

People. They talk, and move about around the car. I crane my head up again. Through the windshield, familiar buildings appear. The inner city. My heart starts pounding. Why did they bring me here? Where's Bryan? Where's Ray? Is he still alive... Are they still alive? I shake my head. I attempt to pull my hands out from behind my back. Strain cuffs. The harder you pull, the tighter they get. I take a breath, trying to calm my heart rate. Suddenly the van stops moving. The driver and passenger open their doors and climb out.

The door to my left flies open. Hands grab at my arms and wrists. I stumble out of the truck, the light of day blinds my eyes. I hear gasps, shrieks, and shouts around me. All eyes are on me. I'm pulled forward by the arms, and I recognize where I am. The town square. My knees weaken immediately. A public execution hasn't happened in almost a decade. I bite my lip, my mind reeling. Wooden stairs are beneath my feet.
"Traitor!"
"Queer Lover!"
"Demon!"

The last one hurt. I step up onto a wooden platform, high above the ground. A trapdoor is beneath my feet. I tilt my head upwards. A tied rope hangs from a beam in front of me. I stop dead in my tracks. The air is cool and brisk. The faint scent of blood still lingers in the air. A crowd has gathered in front of the gallows to watch. The feedback from a loudspeaker rings through the air.

"Attention. Welcome to today's ceremony. I know you all are anxious about the events that occured in the Sunken just a few hours ago. But I'm proud to announce that all of the homosexuals that plagued this city have been eradicated." President Hardings explains over the microphone. Cheers go up below me. I feel tears flooding my eyes. "Today, we have another issue, however, as Ms. Freedon has been in direct, traitorous communication with the homosexuals running a so-called "Haven" for sinners that have evaded the law. Now is her time for her to face justice." The President continues. More cheers go up. "So on this day, March 14th. She will be condemned to death by hanging."

I stare forward at the rope in front of me. I feel my heart drop inside my chest. I try to take a step back. The arms around me push me forward. The rope is laid around my neck. It feels loose, but heavy. I look up in front of me. My stomach churns, and sweat runs down my forehead. A cold chill runs down my spine, as anticipation builds inside my head. Not anticipation. Fear.

"May God have Mercy on her soul."

I shut my eyes tight. No head covering. Just my cold, dead face will be visible to the crowd. I shake my head. I force my eyes open one last time. I wait. I hear a beep behind me. Murmuring over a walkie-talkie.

"Authorization 2WI2. Shut it down."

The rope is removed. A shuddering gasp of relief escapes from my lips. What happened?

The crowd below me shifts to questioning whispers and occasional shouts. I feel the arms around me again, dragging me away from the noose. They turn me around on my heels and we start back down the stairs. My shaky breath slows, and my head drops. I feel grass under my feet. My eyes begin to well up with tears. A shudder of relief floods through my body and my feet give out from under me. The arms around me hold fast and my knees drag across the ground for a second. I force myself up and keep walking. I feel my feet being lifted off the ground into the van again. My head taps against the roof of the van as I climb inside. I sit down, my legs still shaking. The door closes and I'm surrounded by darkness again.