Patrick likes to sing. He is a bass 2. Some how his voice is lower than his balls. The doctors don't know how. They think it is a medical condition.
"Patrick, how do you sing an octave lower than bass two?" His choir teacher asks him.
"I don't really know," he answers.
"Well stop it," she demands.
"I'm sorry, I'm a disgrace. Not even a full bottle of Elmers glue could hold my parent's marriage together after they tokd me to play a round of darts. I landed on divorce. They thew confetti and yelled 'YAY it's all your fault!' And they hugged," Patrick rambles.
"I didn't ask," she looks at him with a look of disappointment.
"Oof," Patrick sang his word like an alto.
"NO NOT YOUR FALSETTA YOU BUCKET OF SADDNESS WE'VE COVERED THIS!" She yells with great rage.
Patrick runs away with tears in his eyes. His face a pinkish red from the anger and saddnes welling up inside his head. The pressure of tears pushing up against his face.
"Why can't I do anything right," he mumbles to himself.
"Patrick?" His non-exsistant girlfriend says. "Are you ok?"
"You aren't real," he whispers.
"BITCH I'M AS REAL AS THE FALLING APART FAMILY YOU'RE APART OF NOW GO BUY ME STARBUCKS!" she yells.
"Ok," Patrick says with a smile.
Looks like things are better than he thinks
YOU ARE READING
Patrick is a hoe
Fanficpatrick.is a hoe. nuff said . . . . . . This story is made as a joke. Patrick is a real person and. I am writing this book to make jokes and fun of my best friend of many years. He and I share many memories and inside jokes. A lot of my close friend...
