There has to be an After for Us ~ (shadam / klance)

Chapter 38 - You and Me Forever More

"Is this party dead?" asked Shiro, "Or is it just you?"

Adam snorted. "You and your dad jokes."

"What? Our wedding reception is mostly being attended by ghosts."

"We prefer the term physically untethered."

"Really?"

"No, I just made that term up. C'mon." Adam tugged on Shiro's arm and pulled him away from the crowd of the dead until they had a nice distance between them and whatever drama the Paladins and Realm Guardians were currently cooking up.

"What are we doing?" asked Shiro.

"I want my wedding dance," said Adam, wrapping an arm around Shiro's back and taking his Shiro's left hand with his right.

They began to sway as Shiro put his right hand on Adam's shoulder. He frowned, looking at it. "It's weird. When I was traveling the path here I had my Altean robot arm, but since I got to the astral plane my arm has been human again."

"It's probably my expectations manifesting it that way," said Adam. "It's what I'm used to, but I wouldn't mind if you didn't have it." Adam removed his arm from behind Shiro's back and brushed his hand over Shiro's right arm and as he did the arm dissolved, leaving Shiro's shirt sleeve folded and pinned.

"Well, now you have to lead," said Shiro.

Adam chuckled softly and moved his hand to Shiro's shoulder. "Do you miss your arm?"

"No," said Shiro, honestly. "You're my phantom limb. You're what I keep expecting to be there and feeling lost when you're not."

Shiro didn't react much after he got his diagnosis. He was in the habit of being strong, being the hero, but there's no gritting your teeth and toughing it out when the enemy is your body. Adam waited days, no weeks for Shiro to show any sign that he was struggling with the news. Adam knew Shiro needed time to process so he waited him out, ready to be there for him when the other shoe dropped.

The drop happened one Sunday morning when they were still in bed together. Having no work that day they'd slept in, but the night before Shiro had fallen asleep on his arm and when he woke up it was numb because of the lack of blood circulation. He didn't know that though. He thought he'd suddenly gotten much sicker.

It took time and a lot of soothing on Adam's part before Shiro was convinced his arm was fine, but by that point the cracks in Shiro's 'brave façade' went from tiny fissures to flood gates opening. He cried, like he needed to. He was in mourning after all. So many things Shiro had envisioned for himself in life were no longer possible. He'd received a death sentence. It wouldn't come today or tomorrow, but his life had an expiry date.

It was on top of those sleep wrinkled sheets with the morning sun filtering through the cracks in the blinds that Adam held Shiro and listened to him list everything he wasn't going to get to do and every way in which his life would change. Shiro had always wanted to be an astronaut. It was his dream. He'd only just been given his first space mission and thanks to his diagnosis it could end up being the only one he'd ever go on.

There was a lot to mourn with his career and Adam listened to him patiently, letting him name every hurt inside. Eventually Shiro got to talking about their relationship. It seemed to rock Shiro harder with sobs when he did bring it up and Adam realized he likely hadn't wanted to say anything, hadn't wanted to acknowledge there would be any obstacles there because he feared Adam would take that as an opening to break up with him.

Adam understood where this fear came from. Shiro's parents had taught him that love was conditional. That Shiro needed to be perfect in order to be worthy of receiving love. But Adam had been raised to understand that love meant compromise and acceptance. There was only one thing Adam had wanted since he'd seen that beautiful sleeping boy's face lit up by the moonlight, and that was to be near him. If that time was shorter, he'd just appreciate the time they did have even more.