Art Book: season 5

uuhhh

So um, life isn't going fantastic at the moment, but it's also not completely unbearable.
A while ago, my ex-friend/girlfriend Jay, who most of you might remember from my active days on Wattpad, messaged me not that long ago talking about how she wanted to talk to her parents about letting us talk again. Don't get me wrong, I'm still madly in love with her, but I don't want to talk to her again. The time we spoke before that, she was mean and awful to me- she spoke harsh words that destroyed me completely. She told me she wished she could hate me, and that she never wants me to be her friend or lover ever again. This has been very stressful on me, and I'm not really sure how to go about it. I've been really depressed and artistically dead lately. The other day, I overdosed on some of my prescription meds, giving myself bad stomach aches and headaches in hope that my mom would keep me home from school, just so I didn't have to see Jay. I might've just been over thinking everything... if Jay hates me so much, why does she want to talk to me? To take away her own anxiety? To make me feel horrible? Or.. maybe she didn't mean what she said, and she genuinely wants to talk to me again. I had a breakdown in the car when I got to school yesterday (30 minutes late), and told my mom everything. I told her that I didn't have any friends in school, that I sit alone in all my classes, I told her about Jay, about Will (this stupid kid who keeps trying to send me nudes of people I don't know), how I feel that my dad doesn't want to see me anymore, all of it. I even admitted to overdosing in order to stay home. She asked for my phone, so I assumed I was grounded when I was handing it to her, but instead of keeping it, she messed around with something on it for a bit and then handed it back to me. She put a number in my phone. I asked her who the number belonged to, and she told me it was the number to our local Metal Therapy Centre. She called them on her phone and set up an appointment for me for tomorrow morning. I can't wait to set up everything tomorrow, I meet with a guy named Tom, and he's going to ask me a bunch of questions and set up the right therapist for me. I also haven't been feeling very happy with my art lately, so I might take a break from drawing for a while, depends. But yeah, that's what's been going on with me. Other than... well... I think I'm really starting to get over Jay as a lover. I don't really... feel it, anymore. Especially after everything she said to me. I've been talking to an old online friend of mine lately, and I actually think I'm starting to get a soft spot for him- I don't know