With You, Or Without You

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve 

                       I woke up wrapped around someone.  They smelled like apples and Cinnamon.  They were smaller than me.  Their breathing was in sync with mine.  I opened my eyes and looked down.  Harvey was in my arms.  Her auburn hair tangled in a mess, her mouth agape and eyes peacefully closed.  I couldn't remember going to sleep with her, or her even being in Miss Ally's house. She flipped over, putting her face in my bare chest.  I took my arm on her off, but I couldn't get the one under her away.  I reached around her and attempted to pull her up a little bit.  Her eyes fluttered open, then when she saw that there was a man in the bed she fell asleep in alone, her hazel eyes shot open.  She sat up getting off my arm.  She was wearing one of my shirts that was in my duffel bag.  

                       "When the fuck did you get here?" She snapped.

                      "Calm down, why are you wearing my shirt?"  I bickered back.

                   "I needed something to wear to bed. My boobs wouldn't fit into your sisters shirts" She claimed.  

                   "Didn't you pack when you came here?" I questioned her.  Justin had said they all packed.

                        "Yes, but my clothes were in  his car and your shirts were right there...I missed the smell of you," she said in a taciturn use of words.  Her face changed expression, she jumped off the bed and ran to her purse by the door.  She dug through it looking for something, pulling things out of it to make it easier to find.  She mumbled stuff under her breath.  "Found it!" she pulled the wedding ring and piece of paper out of her purse.  They were separated.  "We need to talk you asshole."  

                            It's always a joy to talk to her when she's mad.  I swear, a bipolar woman is the worse kind of woman.  "Fine."

                                We went through each one of the cons, saying they were not true.  I didn't feel like arguing with her.  So I just humored her till she was done bitching.  She didn't bring up the one pro yet.  She put the paper down and held up the ring.

                                "You weren't kidding when you said you carried this everywhere you went, were you?"  She looked at me, easing up on her anger.  I nodded.  She sat in silence thinking.  "it's beautiful..."  I gave her a half smile.  She looked up at the ceiling like all the answers to life were up there this very moment.  "The one pro you had on that piece of paper is that you love me.  Shouldn't that be enough?"  She looked at me.  "Do you remember what we always talked about?  We talking about our wedding" - she slipped the ring onto the finger on the very important hand- "We talked about babies.  Our house, our jobs, what a great married couple we would make."  She started crying. I looked down.  I can't pick any of them.  "Then you left me Wyatt."  Hearing the words come from her was like a shot in the head.  It really killed me.  "You're not going to say anything to me, are you?"  She looked like I just punched her in the face.  

                                   I got off the bed and started pacing back and forth from one side of the room to the other.  Being with her, I couldn't understand why I left her.  Seeing her in my shirt made me want her.  Her reminding me all about our life together shook me.  "I told you to leave Harvey."

                                     She stood in front of me and shoved me back, "You can't just tell me to leave!"

                                     I stood my ground, " I gave you what I had left of yours, now leave me alone."

                                     "Ducky, I gave you my heart and you never gave it all back..."  She said gently touching my chest and giving me the big sad eyes.

                                      "You want it all back?  Take it dammit!!  I don't want it!"  I yelled at her, not taking the suck up crap.                                              

                                         "Fuck you Wyatt," she said putting her face in front of mine, making her words sting like a knife.                                                

                                          "Go to Hell Harvey." I smiled at her.                                                                                    

                                She slapped me across the face.  It stung like what hit me.  I grabbed her face with my hand and squeezed her face together.  I kissed her with such force.    She kissed back and pushed me down on the bed.  Yanked my shirt off of herself and kissed me again.  She sat on me in a blue lace thong, working her way down my throat.  "I love you"  She whispered into my ear as she undid my belt.  I took her by the back of her head and put her lips back on mine.  

                                                                 *   *    *    *

                                    We laid naked side by side under the sheet.  My whole body hurt, I was tired.  "That was better than last time,"  She smiled and propped herself on her elbows to kiss me.  I gave her a quick half smile.  "What's wrong?"  She looked insulted.  I shrugged.  "Ducky...talk to me.  Please"  She kissed me from my chest up to my forehead.  

                                       "I want you to leave."  I said in bitterness.  

                                      "What?  Am I just your official fuck buddy?  Screw my brains out then tell me to leave?"  She dug through my pant pockets to bum a cigarette.  Grabbed my lighter too and smoked it with delight in her eyes.  

                                         "I'm dying anyway Harvey!  What difference does it make?"  I glared at her.  

                                        "No you are not!"  She screamed at me.  She rubbed her face, started scratching the scars on her wrist and spoke in a lighter tone, "You're not going anywhere.  OK Ducky.  You're going to get better.  We'll get married, live in a little yellow house with a baby.  We'll live the life we always talked about."  She kissed my cheek.  "I'll be right here through it all.  Forever and a million days." She held my hand with her ring still on.