09 | Sierra
I couldn't sleep. My head is filled with thoughts of Donny. I wanted to forget about him. I really do, but I couldn't. I just don't know how.
Maybe because he was part of my life. He was one of the reasons why I am where I am right now. He was someone special to me. How ironic na pumasa yung talino ko sa Harvard pero hindi sa pag-ibig.
I checked my phone seeing that it was already two in the morning, I decided to get out of my room and head out from the hotel. I wanted to chill outside and just contemplate. As I walk to the seashore, a familiar figure caught my attention.
"Why are you alone in this lovely night?" I grinned as I sat beside him. He looked at me with a little smile as he holds both of his hands together resting it on his knees.
"I should be asking the same thing to you," he replied.
I shrugged as I look away, leaning back using my arms. "I just wanted to think and chill, you know. Like old times." Old times? Really Sierra?
"Old times?" Donny furrowed his thick brows at me which made me pursed my lips. I feel embarassed talking about the past. I mean, who would want to hear about that, right?
"Yeah, old times. T-that time wh-" I stopped myself from stating whatever kagaguhan I might say. "Nevermind."
He pouted, damn he's so cute. "Tell me about it, ang daya mo."
"It's not madaya, I just don't want to spill the tea." I chuckled before he took something from his side, he then offered me a non-alcoholic drink which I thanked him for.
It's weird how this silence felt safe, because I thought I'll have awkward encounters with Donny. Surprisingly, it isn't. Except for when Sunny showed up, but like, having Donny beside me in complete silence didn't felt like that. It felt like I was made for something like this with him.
"Sierra, what are you thinking?" his deep voice brought me back to reality.
I hummed feeling the fresh air of the beach, "I've been thinking a lot of things, you have no idea." chuckling before hugging my legs with my arms, it was getting cold. "It's like my head is filled with 'what ifs', which doesn't make sense at all. My feelings is fucked up and I just hate it."
"What ifs, huh?" his voice was more on a questioning tone, like he wanted to hear more of it. "Tell me more." I knew it.
"It's like there are things that I regretted, I would say... I don't know, I know I shouldn't but I guess those were the almost happy pill for me." I sighed, it's weird to say it for the first. I did regret it. I did regret leaving.
"So, it upsets you?"
I nodded as I bite my lower lip, "I'm upset why in the world would I regret such thing, I was able to study in a university abroad, I mean, not everyone was given this opportunity but why do I feel like this isn't the best decision I ever made. It's frustrating."
He didn't say anything which made me glance at him—he was studying what I said. Finally he spoke, "It is about us?"
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look who finally updated, me. ugh im sorry for not updating for so long and kinda decided to update since tomorrow is Christmas 🎄❤ Advance Merry Christmas everyone! x
