My Head

I'm Sorry

There was a time when I saw something happening with us... I'm not sure what happened.

Maybe it's the little things about you that remind me of my ex.

I know I feel something more than just a friendship for you but something is making me doubt that and not want more than a friendship.

Something is getting to me about you and I don't know what that something is.

I wish I could've given you more reasons why so that you didn't think I'm trying to hurt you or so you weren't upset about it.

I wish I did something other than smile through the pain I was feeling while telling you, I know that you probably don't believe that I was having a hard time telling you but I was.

I've been shaky and upset since telling you.

All I wanted was to be open with you but it just feels like being open ruined everything between us.

You acted chill and fine after I told you but I know you're not fine.

I'm sorry that something is throwing me off, I'm sorry for not giving you a good reason why.

I would honestly understand if you didn't show up Sunday. I would understand if we didn't talk for a while because of it.

You're a great guy and I don't want to lose you but now it feels like I'm going to...

My last relationship was a huge train wreck and I didn't want that to happen with us too, I know that isn't a good reason but I know I'm not ready yet. I don't know if when I'm ready and I've found myself again if I'm going to want something with you and I didn't want you getting lead on or getting your hopes up. 

I'm sorry for being the way I am about these things.

I'm sorry for hurting you.

I know sorry doesn't fix anything but that's all I can say right now until I figure my shit out.

I will tell you that everything I've said about my feelings is true, I just haven't sorted through everything, and I haven't found myself yet.