Missing You (Gawsten)

We Need To Talk

It's around noon when Awsten finally opens his eyes. For the first time in a long while, his head and heart are quiet at the sight of his bedroom walls. His head isn't immediately swarmed with worries, and his heart doesn't try to organize a jailbreak out of his chest. It's almost too quiet- like a washing machine that spins entirely too loud has finally ended it's cycle, but the silence afterwards isn't entirely comfortable either. The silence is confusing, and Awsten can't remember what's happened to cause such misplaced peace-

Geoff.

Like a dam breaking, all the memories come flooding back. The door, the yelling in the living room, the crying, the night before when they were on the porch- this morning.

After remembering the early morning interaction, the purple-haired boy jolts up in bed and looks around his room. Geoff is nowhere to be seen.

The discovery makes Awsten's tummy threaten to fly off to a distant island, and his brain immediately goes blank. Had he imagined it all? Was it a dream?

Before he can really start to question his sanity, mental stability, and everything else in that realm of things that are eligible for a check-up at this point, he hears a noise. It's a noise that makes his own heartbeat invade his eardrums. Tears prick his eyes, and he finally lets it all go.

Everything rolls off of him in massive midnight blue tendrils. It all crashes to the ground with such a crushing impact that Awsten is sure there will be an earthquake from it. The ropes connected to the anchors have finally snapped- he jumps out of bed.

Moving the quickest he has in eight months, the purple-haired boy sprints down the hall, trying to get to the source of the sound. He takes the stairs faster than he probably should, and is slightly surprised he doesn't go tumbling down them. He pauses at the base of the stairs, which end beside the kitchen doorway.

The sound is still going- despite his thunderous descent- and it's getting louder. Closer.

Awsten moves to dart into the kitchen, but Geoff appears at the doorway just as he turns the corner, and they come nose to nose. Geoff stops humming, and Awsten's eyes widen.

That sound, Geoff's humming, was what the purple-haired boy had woken up to nearly every day for years- up until recently, of course. Awsten can even remember way back to when he still lived with his parents; he and Geoff weren't together yet, and Geoff would come home with him after school and spend the night. When he woke up before Awsten, he would hum. It drove Awsten crazy back then, and he would always throw a pillow at Geoff, but over time he'd grown to love it.

It's a sound that Awsten had never expected to hear again.

"I-" Geoff starts, but stops when the purple-haired boy stands on his tippy toes, wraps his arms around Geoff's neck, and buries his face in his shoulder. Geoff, of course, wraps his arms around Awsten's middle and holds him tightly.

They breathe in each other's scents and the smell of pancakes for a good few minutes before Geoff shifts slightly.

"Honey love, the stove's on- I have pancakes cooking," he says, but Awsten only holds him tighter. The pancakes can burn, he doesn't care as long as Geoff stays.

Geoff, however, isn't very keen on allowing that to happen. He leans down slightly and puts his hands at the back of the smaller boy's thighs. Awsten does a small jump and wrapped his legs around Geoff. The brunet carries him into the kitchen and sits him on the counter. He pries himself away from Awsten just long enough to flip the pancakes, and while doing so, he hears Awsten whisper, "I thought you left again, or that you coming back was a dream, or something."

Geoff turns back to the boy sitting on the counter, and watchs as he lowers his head in embarrassment. He reaches over and turns the stove off, then walks a couple of steps back over to his love. He stands between Awsten's legs and puts his fingers under his chin, lifting his head up.

"I'm never leaving you ever again. I promise, Awsie."

With that, he kisses Awsten's forhead for much longer than truly necessary, and Awsten lets tears of relief slide down his cheeks as he leans into Geoff's touch.

Everything is okay.

Otto stands at the kitchen doorway with tears sliding down his own cheeks- happy tears- because it's truly over. Perhaps he hadn't thought the two of them would ever experience this- happiness, relief, healing- but here they are. They've made it through those eight months, and yeah, maybe the journey wasn't fun, but they survived it- that's what counts.

He steps away from the doorway and lets Geoff and Awsten have their moment in private. They deserve it. Geoff has worked so hard, done so many unbelievable things, just to get back here. Awsten has endured day after day of agonizing living- days where it hurt to so much as breathe- holding out for the tiny speck of hope that Geoff was still coming back.

And now, here they are; surrounded by serene, translucent clouds of relief. The polluted atmosphere of the house has lifted, like it's been run through a filter. The clouds smell of everything love and happiness can be described as; honey, ocean breeze, hot chocolate, strawberry shampoo, pancakes, book pages, and coffee shops.

They're all ready for things to be normal again, and for these smells to float around them for a long time.

***

"Tell me, please," Awsten whispers. He has his head on Geoff's shoulder, and the two of them are gently drifting back and forth on the porch swing.

The warm Texas air fills their lungs, and a cooling breeze slightly tousles their hair. Awsten's hand is entwined with Geoff's, and a small smile takes over his lips every time Geoff kisses the top of his head. Geoff's eyes are softly closed, his head resting atop the smaller boy's, but they open at the quiet request.

The taller boy takes a deep breath. "I was with Alex, Zack, Rian, Jack, and Patty."

The purple-haired boy instantly sits up so that he can turn to look at Geoff. "Why were you with them?" His voice is filled with worry. He's only heard those names one other time.

Geoff lets out a soft sigh and looks at the boy beside him. "M'dad got out of prison," he mutters.

Awsten's eyes widen in blaring, bright alarm. His mood shifts from subdued curiosity to neon yellow panic. He knows that Geoff's dad is not the nicest man.

Geoff knows he has to explain everything- Awsten deserves to know- but he can't help but take a moment to admire his boyfriend's eyes, which are staring at him attentively with multicolored interest.

"Are you okay? He didn't get too close to you, did he?" Awsten asks, looking at Geoff's face as if he's trying to figure out if he's hurt or not.

"No, he didn't. Don't worry, baby," Geoff replies, brushing his fingers through the purple-haired boy's wind-blown hair. A light blush glows on Awsten's cheeks.

Awsten has so many questions, but the way Geoff is gazing at him as if he put the stars in the sky is distracting. He leans into Geoff's touch, and the brunet runs the pad of his thumb over Awsten's cheekbone.

This is a moment that Geoff has been waiting for, through thick and thin, for what felt like forever. It feels amazing to finally have the ethereal boy close enough to touch again.

Geoff strokes the purple-haired boy's cheek again and smiles. Awsten notices the gleam in his eye.

He's happy to be here with Awsten. He's happy to be home. He hasn't felt this carefree in months.

"Although, when I broke into his squat house on a mission to get him arrested again, he did almost catch me," Geoff says in a joking tone.

Awsten's eyes nearly pop out of his head- he knows it isn't really a joke.

...