You Are Not Alone (Sequel to For Forever)

Watching it Burn

Where the fuck am I?

That was Jared's first thought when he woke up, and then he remembered.

Oh, shit. Fuck. No, no, what the fuck had he done?

Jared fingered the bruises on his face gingerly. Shit.

Evan's tears flashed in front of his eyes. Blood. Whispers of "P-p-please, J-j-jared s-stop..." Jared covered his eyes. Why was he such a dick to Evan? Why hadn't he just stayed home and left those bottles unopened?

Tears dripped off of Jared's chin, splattering lightly on the ground. He stood up to lock the door. His mother knocked on the door. "Jared, honey!" She said. "Busy!" Jared replied loudly in the most normal voice he could muster. He heard his mother sigh, and then her footsteps faded back downstairs.

Just like that, Jared knew how to end this pain he felt. How to end his pain... without losing himself.

He crept downstairs, after everyone was sleeping. He sat by the fireplace and deleted all of Evan's texts and emails. He threw photos of Evan into the crackling flame, and all of Evan's little notes slipped into lockers in middle school. He stared blankly at the fire, burning up everything he had ever cared about, and crumpled to the ground.

"Oh E-Evan... I'm s-so s-sorry..." Jared sobbed. He glanced at the fire, and the last wisps of a note from Evan burning. A note saying:

Hey Jared! Wanna meet up after school? It'll be so fun!

He watched it burn.

Jared stared at the ashes in the fire, and then crept upstairs. He stared blankly at his video games and drank some more alcohol. He drank and played until all the pain was gone, diluted and drowned out by the rush of drinks.

Smiles are fake but tears are real

Drowned out nothing he can feel

He's just drunk on fear and pain

He doesn't even need cocaine 

He's just cold...