Hope- The Walking Dead Fanfiction

Ch 25- THE END

Dear Diary,

Hello again. I don't know why I keep coming to you to talk to you. I mean you obviously won't give me advice, but just talking to the others... It doesn't work. We have been walking for awhile.

The only full on conversation I've had with anyone was with Judith. She calls me 'mama' now. It kind of scares me. I'm a mom now. Well basically. It feels weird though, because Lori should be her mom. And Rick her father. And Carl her brother... But they are all long gone.

She's the only Grimes left. She is the last part of that family', and what am amazing family it was. I miss them everyday.

Of course, Daryl or Michone hasn't come back yet. I am still pissed off at everyone for not waiting for them. That's partially the reason why I don't really talk anymore. I mean, we could've waited.

Like a couple more days would've made a difference?like Washington is that important? Oh god dammit Beth. You want to put the CURE on hold until you find your boyfriend. I'm

Pathetic.

I miss him though. I replay memories of him everyday. The good and the bad. When we first kissed. When we slept in the trunk. When we first did "it". When we found the others. When he accidentally told everyone our secret. When... When when he told me not to leave him and help them find Carl and Michone.

Should I have stayed? Would I, little Beth Greene, have made a difference on whether thy would survive and be here with everyone...

I mean. I was the one to lead the group to the house. Saved them from the horde. And I know how to take care of Judy... She calls me mama after all.

I miss him. I miss him so much. I miss his smile. His everything. He held me together. Without him... I would've stared cutting again when we separated after the prison, maybe even worse?

Maybe I would've suicided. It would've been all over. I wouldn't have the pain of losing my love. I wouldn't have the pain of losing my family. I consider Rick as my uncle. Michone as a family friend, Carl as my brother. Maybe I should've suicided at the farm?

I mean then, Daryl wouldn't have had to go through this. Watch after a stupid blonde little girl. He probably didn't even love me. Just said that to shut me up so we could survive.

Maybe I should. I mean... Who really needs me? Maggie has Glenn, and I'm pretty sure she's pregnant. Not to mention she hasn't really attempted to talk to me after this whole thing.

Judy... Judy has Carol. In a couple years, Judy wouldn't even remember me if I was gone. I mean... Carol would be her new mommy.

Everyone else... Everyone else wouldn't give two craps if I was gone. I'm just slowing them down on their way to Washington.Their way to the cure.

To be completely honest... I've just lost hope. Something I thought I would always have is gone. Hope. Daryl Dixon was my hope. He is gone. Daddy was my hope. He is gone. The prison was my hope. That's gone. There's no point.

Even if we found the cure I wouldn't be happy. The giant storage of hope I have is gone. It was all drained. After seven miserable years my hope has been drained, and has left this.

A stupid. Naive. Ignorant. Blonde Girl. That isn't help to anyone. Nobody needs. Nobody cares. The only thing that was keeping me was hope. Hope... Hope... Hope... Hope.

PLEASE READ AN. ITS EXTRMELY IMPORTANT. THE WHOLE THING. I KNOW IT IS LONG I DONT GIVE A FUCK. READ IT.

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Whoah. That was the end. So... Lovelias 🌺 what did you think? Sad I know. But... It has a message. A message that can be applied to anything difficult and hard in your life. If you want to get through something... You need hope.

Beth had hope until... Until everything she loved was gone. She had convinced herself that everything that she had ever loved... And still loved... Was either gone or didn't love her back.

I feel like that is the major cause of depression and suicide. Bullying. Saying she's ugly. Or he's gay stay away. Or shit like that. That takes away somebody's hope.

I personally feel like humans need four things to live. Food. Water. Oxygen. And hope. Hope can be given to anyone from doing the simple of things of saying I love you. Hanging around a little more. Reminding them that you .are there for them.

This hits me hard... Because I am extremely insecure about myself. Everyday... I either look in the mirror and see something pretty.. Or something fat and ugly.

My weight is such a big issue, and it scares me to death. My thighs are too big. My arms jiggle. My stomach sticks out. It is soooo fucking hard dealing with that.

And I only feel it gets better when a friend, or family member, or someone randomly comes and says," I like your hair." Or "Taylor, trust me you are not fat." Or when a guy says I'm pretty, you don't know how much hope that gives me.

Great. I'm crying now... Grrrrr

The simplest things can give hope. Please give hope to others. Simple acts of kindness or love or being a friend... It is soooo important. It's so hard to tell how much hope someone has left.

If you look at me, you would probably never know that about me. It doesn't matter what it looks like. If someone says "I'm fine"

Being persistent and annoying until they tell you what's wrong, because I garuntee that something is draining their hope.

Please take something away from this. Please. Thankyou for reading all. I love you.

On a lighter note... Epilogue coming out soon. Please vote. Comment. Follow. And look out for a new gamer Fanfiction that I am working on!!! Yay!

Anyway... I love you all sooo much. It makes me feel so happy that people enjoy my writing and... Just.... *HUGS*

Okay...

Byyyyyeeee