One Life (BakuDeku)

I'm Home

TRIGGER WARNING. SUICIDAL ACTIONS IN THIS CHAPTER. READ WITH YOUR OWN WILL

Deku's POV

Darkness. I was engulfed in darkness. I don't know where I am. I don't even know if I can feel feelings anymore.

I watch Kacchan leave and when he closed the door and left, I just allowed my emotions to take over and I started crying on the floor.

My conscious was telling me to stop crying because it should only be him crying right now.

What is this feeling...am I losing myself already?

I opened my drawer and pulled out a pocket knife that no one knows I have and held it up to my wrist.

"If this is the only way to stay sane, so be it."

I slowly allowed the knife to travel across my wrist, drawing blood.

My mind started going fuzzy as I watched the crimson red liquid fall onto the floor. I started crying again. Not of sadness, but of happiness.

As my tears strolled down my face, my lips parted slightly, allowing small laughs to escape.

Soon after I was laughing like a maniac, I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop it.

It felt so good. Watching myself bleed. It was the best.

My knife was covered in blood moments after cutting my wrists. I liked it. I needed this.

My laughs soon subsided as I heard a soft knock from my door.

"What." I said coldly.

"Izuku... I made a small snack if you'd like to eat something..."

Mom.....

I felt tears forming at the corners of my eyes.

Mom.....help....

Tears soon rolled down my cheeks.

But... You won't be enough....

I dropped the knife to the ground.

Kacchan.....I need you....Help me...

I slowly started walking to the door.

I'm going insane.....

Just then I get a text message.

I stop and look at my phone, seeing who it was from.

Kacchan....

I immediately open up the message and see its a recording. I push the play button.

"Say it now shitty hair before I beat the living shit out of you. I'm tired of you ruining everything for me."

I heard Kacchan's voice loud and clear. Then I heard the second voice.

"Fine. Todoroki told me he seen you and Midoriya at the lake making out. So, he said if his plan was to fail that I would take action. So I did. I did though...not regret the decision to kiss you."

There it was. all the proof I needed to be able to be in Kacchan's embrace again, but. How come I still hurt?

I continued walking to my door and grabbed the doorknob, not taking in that I was still bleeding. I open the door to see my worried sick mother. I've worried her. So much.

Her eyes widen as she sees my blood covered wrists. I sigh and she immediately hugs me tightly, not caring about the blood coating her clothes.

"Izuku... I've never seen you like this and it worries me dear. Do you want to talk about it?" She said as I eventually hug her back.

"mom, I'm okay now. really I am. I just... needed to figure some things out I guess." I smile softly to reassure my mom.

She looks at me and then smiles herself.

"Ok.. But if anything happens don't hesitate to talk to me about it okay?"

I nod before letting her go and starts walking into the kitchen, holding onto my wrists so I wouldn't trail blood behind me.

I went to the kitchen sink and ran the water, allowing the water to wash off the blood on my wrists, and I winced in pain.

After that I put some antibiotics on my wrists and bandaged them up, as well as slipping on a jacket so no one would get suspicious.

"Mom. I'm going out. I'll be back in a bit!" I shouted as my mom gave me a shout back in return.

"Alright sweetie, please be safe!"

I smile softly and quickly put on my shoes and head out the door.

I already know where my destination is...

Kacchan's house.

I can't do this anymore. If I stay away from him any longer I would probably go insane anyway. He's my whole life. If I am away from him.. their is no point in living.

A short walk to his house and I'm at his front door. My heart starts to beat faster and I feel tears start forming in my eyes. Why am I feeling so sad?

I ball my hand in a fist and take a deep breath, allowing myself to knock on the door.

As I waited for a response, I burst out in tears. I think my emotions just broke. Oh well, that's natural I guess.

A good 40 seconds pass before I heard a person walk up to the door and I watched as it slowly opened. Revealing a fucked up Bakugou.

He looks worse than I do now... My eyes widened as I realized something. When I talked to my mom.. That was about four days after Kacchan tried bringing me back to my normal state.

But why did I forget that? Why didn't I remember those two events happened separately?

I thought both of those both happened in one day...

"Deku?... What the hell are you doing here?" He said with a depressed and tired tone.

I looked at him with a painful expression and threw myself at him, causing the both of us to fall over on the ground. I sobbed on top of him and buried my nose in the crook of his neck.

He hesitantly patted my back and soon after that wrapped his arms around me.

This safe feeling made a smile creep on my face, finally. Finally I'm back with Kacchan.

"Deku... You have no idea how much I've suffered while you were gone. Damn it that fucked my sleeping schedule up. I have't really slept after I left your house shit nerd."

His words just caused me to cry more an left me a shaking and crying mess on him.

He sat up, taking me with him and wrapped his arms around me in a protective way, laying his chin on the top of m head.

"Deku. Never leave me again, okay? Your not allowed to."

His stern and over protective tone caused me to smile and exhale with relaxation.

"Alright.. I won't" I promised and we sat in each others embrace by the front door, not caring if any one was staring.

I'm home.