Dechart: Become Connor

Connor 5

There's no reason for me to be here. I figured I'd just visit them. I walk in the doors and look over at detective Bowie and lieutenant Anderson talking, Bowie seated on his desk. I approach them and get a good hit of their conversation.

"I'm not. I just... He's feels so human sometimes. When he gets upset, which he definately does, it's in his voice and behind his eyes. I can feel what he's feeling." She explains.

"I'm sorry detective," She jumps and faces me. "But androids don't have feelings." She squints her eyes at me intensely.

"Why are you here?" She growls.

"I figured, since humans normally spend time together that-"

"But you aren't human!" She cuts me off. "You make that very clear every day. You don't bleed what I bleed. Stop trying to be something you aren't! Pick one! Are you a fucking machine or did you feel something when those Traci's held hands and begged to be together?" The station has become quiet aside from this conversation and she rushes out. I look at Hank in panic, no, confusion.

"Go after her jackass!" He orders. I nod and run after her. I spot her leaning her forehead on her car window. Her body temperature is cooler than the normal human body temperature and her breathing is slightly unsteady and heavy. I place my hand on her arm and she quickly turns around.

"Emily, I'm sorry for stressing you out. I hope you can forgive me so we can further our investigation." I say formally.

"Fuck you." She utters. "You're nothing! Nothing but a piece of plastic shaped like a person! You're fake!" She shouts.

"Well yeah. What did you expect?" I ask. Her features turn cold and angry, her fist rushing to my face and making me stumble back. 'I'll personally fight anyone who hurts you.'

Software instability^^^

She shoves me and throws punch after punch in various places, making me fall to the ground. I don't have time to react before she's leaning over me, strangling me. I feel my pulse heavily as she damages my throat more and more.

"Androids don't need to breathe! You aren't real! Machines aren't people!" She cries out. Every second drains the light from my eyes, causing glitches in my vision. I can feel myself dying. I feel... scared.

Software instability^^^

She's pulled off my body roughly allowing me to regulate everything again.

"Em stop!" Anderson shouts.

"Fuck you!" She shouts at him, pulling away. Her quick movement makes me flinch. Why did I flinch? "You're the one who is determined to kill yourself! You say you can't pull the trigger but you do it all the time! What the fuck do you think Russian roulette is? You're trying to die!" He pulls her to his chest and holds her as she sobs. If I wasn't paying attention I wouldn't have seen his own eyes well up.

"Is that what you wanted to ask me?" He mumbles to her and she nods. "I lost my son a few years back. You remember Cole, right? Well, I can't forget." He confesses to her. I stand and try to steady my mind. Everything's glitchy right now. My heart is racing.

"Detective Bowie, why does it matter so much to you if I'm a machine or not?" I ask. She pulls away from Anderson and looks me in the eyes.

"Reasons you wouldn't understand. Reasons that wouldn't make sense to you because you can't feel anything." She spits.

"Emily, are you saying what I think you're saying?" Anderson asks.

"If you think I'm in love with him, I'm not."

Software instability^

I feel a pain in my chest.

"But I'd be lying if I said I don't feel any attachment at all. Connor, you asked me if I could tell you about me. You wanted to know who I am behind the scenes. I'm depressed and alone. My family is dead, I don't have any friends or pets or anything. I fight myself. Hank, you drink and drink until you black out. That's how you get by. That's not how I do it. I'm too much of a pussy to self harm, alcohol is how I lost my family, drugs were never my thing despite everyone around me being hooked, so what do I do? I numb myself. Degrade these pointless emotions until I don't feel anymore, but I can't do that with you, Connor, and I hate it. I hate you!" She shouts and storms back toward the building. I don't hesitate to follow her and I grab her arm lightly.

"Emily." I look into her eyes for a moment before she pulls away.

"Leave me alone." She demands and walks away. I stand in the rain in defeat, Anderson appearing next to me. He places a hand on my shoulder and walks into the building also. I slowly follow him, passing Emily, who goes back to her car and leaves. I walk with Anderson to his desk and sit at my own silently. I'm ruining the friendly relationship between us. For what? I can just pretend I'm human, can't I? For her?

"Connor," I look up at lieutenant Anderson. "You alright? Your light thingy is red as hell. Don't you self destruct on me, ok?" He says gently. He's being so kind.

"Why are you being nice to me?" I ask, my vision still glitching.

"Because you're part of the team. You're important here." He says. Am I?

Software instability^^^