Vent

vent 19

i don't miss you.
you were terrible to me.
i feel nothing for you.
you made me feel so shit inside and the emotional abuse you gave us was indescribable.
you never realised.
you still haven't.
it's bullshit and i can't believe you think i'd ever take that shit back.
i don't have as many friends as you think by the way, but the ones i have i trust so much it's stupid.
if your heart is hurting so much, why did you hurt ours and think it was okay, that we would just feel okay after.
i'm in such a happy place right now, i have someone who i really like, that makes me happy, i have friends i actually trust. you made it so hard to trust anyone, it was so difficult to get myself back on my feet. i couldn't trust anyone for so long because of you.
you made me have genuine panic attacks over the shit you made me otherthink about.
i hate it, how you made me feel. i hate it.
i don't hate you, i don't.
i just can't believe how badly i let you treat me.

not letting us have other friends, not texting us for a week if we didn't reply within 5 minutes or some dumb shit like that. you made me feel so bad.

the reason i don't talk to you is because you make me feel so bad inside. it's like you've made such a negative impact on me previously that i can't forgive you. i can't.
i don't care what you have to say to me, if you read this, whatever, this was just to get it off my chest.
you've made me feel something i can't shake. whenever i see you, i feel something like anger, but it's panicked and wrong.
i don't miss you. i can barely even remember you.