Choose Me

Hallows Eve (Part Two)

*Stef*

  "So, have you slept with Ren yet?"

The question punches me in my gut like no other, and at first, my instinct is to laugh. Laugh because I seriously am feeling that somehow Lena is jealous, and I can't figure out as to why. "What?" I ask, even though I know full well what she has asked me.

She turns around and grabs two coffee mugs to pour the hot cocoa and repeats herself. "Ren. Have you slept with her yet?"

Her eyes haven't met mine yet, and I take the steaming mug of cocoa before I even think of replying. "We've met up a few times, yes."

Of course I'm being evasive. For some reason, I can't bring myself to tell my very best friend all of the details. That's what friends do, though, right? Is it because I'm very much in love with her still?

She nods as she blows on her steaming mug and sits in one of my kitchen chairs, her feet folded under her. "How well do you know this person, Stef? I mean you're flying out to actually stay in her home?"

Her eyes finally meet mine, and I can feel the irritation creep up the back of my neck like a creepy, crawly spider wanting to nest in my hair. I clear my throat as I sit across from her. "Meaning?"

"Well, meaning that I'm your friend, and have yet to meet her! Don't you think you, two should at least date a few more times before actually staying in each other's homes?"

I laugh now. The kind of cynical laugh that Lena hates as I set down my mug, folding my hands around it. "Well, considering we've already fucked, and she's actually stayed the night several times with me in my bed, I think I'm good, Lena. But thank you for caring...as a friend."

I added the last part with a hint of sarcasm which isn't lost on her, and the look on her face is priceless. It's almost as if she just swallowed some really bad liquor or even sat on a mouse. Either way, I sit back as I watch her face turn white, then gray, then red as she nods and pretends to open her apple. I know her mind is reeling with so many things to say, and what she comes back with sets me off.

"As a friend, you would have told me you had a fuck buddy by now, but I guess I'm not a part of that side of your life anymore."

It's not lost on me the tears that have formed in her eyes, and I know that she's upset, as she should be. I haven't been really honest with her for several months, but how could I have told her that I was trying so hard to move on? How could she even know? She had to have seen signs...something. She couldn't be that naive. Could she?

"That's an unfair thing to say, Lena!" I stand now and re-wrap my apple, slamming it on the counter. She stands as well and walks towards me.

"Unfair? Unfair? Are you kidding me right now? Why can't you look at me, Stef? I thought you were my best friend! I thought best friends told each other everything! Apparently this Ren person has poisoned your mind about me or something or you would have said something about her!" Her face is red as can be, and her wild hair around her face makes her breathtaking to me in this moment which only infuriates me further.

"She doesn't know about you, okay! I haven't told her about you!" I bite back.

"You're joking, right?"

Lena has never looked so small as in this moment, yet the fire inside of me is burning nice and hot. "I'm NOT joking, Lena! Why should I..why should I tell her about..."I trail off as my voice catches.

"About what?" she snaps, her arms now folded as she leans against the sink.

"You don't know, do you?" Tears that are now clogging my throat are making it hard to breathe at this point.

Her jawline tightens as she waits for me to continue, but I can't bring myself to do so. "Just forget it. I have an early day tomorrow," I seal up the candied apple. "I think you should go home, Lena."

The air is thick between us right now as my heart breaks into a thousand pieces. Just make it until tomorrow. Then I'll be in Ren's arms trying to forget the one person who very much has a part of my heart.

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*Lena*

"Stef...please...what happened to us?" I stand outside her apartment in the chilly evening as she stands in front of me, jawline tightened, messy bun and bare feet. Everything about her is perfect, but I'm so confused right now especially since she practically kicked me out.

She sighs as she looks down at the ground, playing with the door jam with her toes. "Nothing. Don't worry. I was wrong." She looks at me now, and I keep blinking back the tears so they won't fall down my cheeks.

I want to reach out to her and comfort her, but the confusion is so great, I'm now second guessing myself like never before. "Text me when you've landed?"

"Yes," she whispers as she half smiles. I turn to go, but her voice stops me. "Lena..."

I sniffle as I turn back, and this time she reaches up and brushes her fingers down the side of my face as she looks deeply into my eyes. I feel the pull between us, but right now, I'm thinking it's more me than her.

"Have a safe trip, Stef." I reach out and squeeze her hand before heading quickly down to my car so I can have a proper cry.

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*Well, now...😟*