Choose Me

Rattled

As the curly haired woman made her way into the law offices, paper bag of salads in hand, she couldn't help but smile at the hired decorators in the lobby for they were already putting up a Christmas tree, wreaths, pretty greenery and poinsettias. Christmas had to be one of her most favorite holidays (after Halloween, of course), and the sights as well as the smells brought her much comfort to a point, she temporarily forgot about the argument she had with Stef earlier and the fact that she wouldn't be seeing her anytime soon.

"Hey, Lena!" Carol smiled warmly from behind the receptionist's desk. "You just missed her! She was on her way out for an extended lunch!"

Lena frowned as she pulled out her phone to look at her gf's schedule then looked back at Carol who looked a bit perplexed. "Oh, ok! My bad! I must have forgotten," Lena lied as she turned to head back to her car.

"I thought she was going to pick you up? You better call her," Carol reminded her, making her even more alarmed.

"Sure thing!" Lena hurried back to her car and tossed the salads off to the side before leaning her head back on the head rest. Going to the airport? Wasn't Jenna supposed to be going for them? Amber had made it clear that she had offered. Was Amber going to pick Jenna up and they were going together? She had so many questions and not enough answers which were now making her head spin.

Instead of fretting any further, she soon turned her car toward the highway, towards the airport. She had originally wanted to pick up her parents to begin with, and by god, she wasn't going to sit at home and do nothing.

Meanwhile, Stef was half sick to her stomach about everything including the fact that Lena wouldn't allow her to explain herself. She hadn't really wanted to say yes to Ren, but she had, and now she was in a bind. She didn't understand why she kept doing this if she was honest. Maybe it was the fact that Lena still hadn't told her that she'd leave Amber. Maybe it was the fact that she liked the fact that someone was chasing her for a change. Or maybe it was because she seriously had commitment issues. Either way, she was in this and she was stuck, and as soon as Lena hung up the phone, she knew she had made a massive mistake.

"Hey, Stef! I thought I heard you out here. Are you okay?" Ren was standing in the doorway of her apartment balcony, and Stef turned nervously towards her.

"I'm here..." she walked closer to her as she shoved her hands in her jeans. "Hey, uh, listen. Ren, you disappeared on me, and I know that I said I forgave you, but I haven't really forgotten. I'm not so sure I can trust someone who flat out ignores my repeated texts, phone calls, and even emails without a trace...."

"But I already explained, Stef!"

"I know you did, Ren. But that's the problem, isn't it. You explained and thought it would be better...as in I would give up a holiday for you. But it doesn't work that way, sweetheart. I don't know everything about you, but where I'm from, we communicate. We don't just drop in whenever the fuck we want and expect it to be okay, and I'm telling you, I'm already deeply in love with someone else...."

The silence between them was deafening, and finally Ren began to cry quietly, but Stef was determined as she moved past her and headed towards her front door, opening it and waiting for Ren to leave. She finally made her way over to Stef and placed her hand on her arm and squeezed slightly. "Just tell me, did you love this person when we were trying to make this work between us?"

Stef swallowed hard as she slowly nodded her head. "Yes... and I cheated on you, too. I'm not proud, Ren. You picked up on it, and if I'm ever going to be able to move on and be honest in any relationship, I had to start with you. And I know that makes me sound hypocritical kicking you out for just showing up out of the blue after dropping off the planet, but let's face it, Ren. This was never going to work between us. Do you think?"

Tears were now streaming down Ren's face as she listened to Stef's confession, to the point, she could barely speak, and Stef realized she wasn't being fair. "Should we sit and talk? I'm sorry, Ren. I'm really sorry...." Stef grabbed her hand, but the light-skinned woman pulled away.

"No...no, I can't. This was a huge mistake. You were a mistake, Stefanie Foster! And I should have listened to my gut! I shouldn't have come! "

Stef pulled back, knowing deeply in her heart that she had screwed up BIG time. And now standing here, she knew that she needed to talk to Lena and soon. They needed to face the reality of this, whatever it was between them, because if they didn't, they'd never succeed to any degree, and that was something that would kill Stef.

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*Lena*

"Mama! Daddy!" I run towards my parents forgetting temporarily just how rattled I've been today.

"Gracious, child! There are people around!" Dana lightly reprimands me, and all I can do is hug my dad even harder.

"This is a nice surprise, honey!" My dad hugs me tightly, and I finally pull back as I take one of his bags.

"Lena?" I look over surprised, yet not, to see Jenna.

"Oh, hey! Sorry! I decided to come after all. Isn't Amber with you?" I ask sarcastically as we make our way through the busy crowd.

Jenna frowns as she follows close beside me, my parents now in their own little heated discussion about where to eat for lunch. "No? She's working late? Lena, honestly, it was no bother. I had made the offer, and why did you think Amber was with me?"

I sigh now, my stomach completely twisting even more, and not wanting to break down in the middle of all of these people, I excuse myself to the bathroom, Jenna close behind.

"We'll be at the Starbuck, Lena!" my dad calls after me, and I give a big thumbs up before walking into the spacious bathroom. Jenna pulls me off to the side where hardly anyone is and frowns even deeper.

"Now spill! What the hell is going on, Lena?"

I pull my frazzled hair on top of my head now and sigh. "I don't know, Jenna. I'm actually embarrassed..."

"For?"

I struggle to make eye contact as I practically whisper. "I thought she was having an affair with you..."

Jenna smirks then begins laughing and loudly only making my stomach twist even more. "It's not funny, Jenna! I'm serious! Not that I should condemn you if you were..."

"Wait," she stops laughing now. "You're serious, aren't you..."

I nod as I lean back against the sink as an elderly woman walks by and enters one of the stalls. I lower my voice even more. "I am serious. I brought her lunch today and was given some story of her going to the airport and so I was so angry I thought I'd show up and surprise you, two. I'm such an idiot!"

Jenna laughs again but soon stops as she takes my hand. "Look, you're not an idiot for thinking that, but you ARE an idiot for not seeing someone else is in love with you..."

I flush now as my mouth goes dry. "What?"

"Stef? She's been in love with you for years now, and honestly? I see how you've been looking at her...."

"Look, Jenna....I...I can't do this..." I try to pull away and leave the bathroom, but she follows close behind me and whispers in my ear.

"I already know. I can see it in both of your eyes, and Amber's the idiot to let you slip away..."

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***Oh boy! Do you think Jenna will tell? And where is Amber?