I open my eyes what feels like 10 minutes later and slowly sit up. My eyes feel heavy and my body's lugged down with sleep. I reach for my phone and see that it's been much longer than 10 minutes. I must have fallen asleep laying there. It's 00:10.
I jump up quickly, pulling on my shorts. I don't bother to change out of Jacobs shirt. It's comfortable, besides, I like it on me.
I slip my phone in the pocket of my shorts and splash some cold water on my face, before slipping on my shoes and running out the door to the beach.
As I get closer I can make out a figure silhouetted on the sand.
"Seth?" I call out a little nervous.
The figure turns around but I'm still too far away and it's too dark to make out their face. But I recognise the voice.
"Hey Ness."
It's stupid how the darkness makes people afraid. Even me, despite my almost perfect vision. It's a fear of not knowing. Not being able to see where your foot falls on the ground. Not knowing whether you're next step could end in your death. But the thing is, you never know. You never know if your next breath is your last, or the person you love is going to die. It's never told that way. That in a second it can feel like you've lost everything. You always know. But you don't.
I smile and walk over to him, sitting next to him in the sand.
"Sorry about earlier."
"Don't worry about it. Jake's always had a temper."
I nod.
"So..." I sigh.
"You call me to meet you at midnight, what is this? A love affair?" He chuckles and I smile.
"Maybe."
"It's so pretty. In the moonlight."
I can't help but agree. The moon shimmers in its reflection on the waters crystal surface. The normally yellow sand is now a dull grey. As I gaze out into the waters all I can think is:
"Our baby's buried here."
I pick up a small stone, not looking to see Seths reaction and throw it as hard as I can into the water as the tears fall down my cheeks. I push all my angry thoughts into the stone and as I throw it I pray that the thoughts will sink with it. They don't.
The water splashes around where the stone falls and little ripples appear. That's what I feel now. Ripples. It's the after effect. Not constantly there but always strong when it is.
Loosing someone you love, the pain never goes away. It starts to numb after a while. But sooner or later someone will say something or do something and you'll remember. It's not like remembering that they did actually exist. It's remembering that you'll never see them again. That they're gone.
I turn back and Seth's gazing into the forest.
"I couldn't ask for a better place."
It takes me a while to work out he's talking about where our baby's buried. I was so caught up in my thoughts.
"In my arms still alive."
"There's no point trying to change the past."
I don't know what to say, but he's right, I just don't want to face it.
"I shouldn't have come." I start to walk away but Seth's hand grabs my arm.
"Renesmee wait, please. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
"It wasn't you." I sigh. "Look, this was a stupid idea. I need to go back. I'll see you around Seth."
"So what, you're just going to act like you and I never happened?"
"Nothing did ever happen! Nothing can ever happen." He looks down hurt. I can think of so many things to say that'll make him feel better and I want to say them so badly. But it has to be a clean break, it's easier for both of us.
So I simply turn away from him and run back towards Jake's. I ignore Seth's shouts after me and try not to cry again. For once, I don't.
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Twilight | Renesmee And Jacob || Something Good
FanfictionA Twilight Fanfic: Renesmee is in love with Jacob Black. But one messed up night she ends up with Seth. The series of events that follow are the shaping of Renesmee's life but they are both tragic, beautiful and mysterious. Can something good ever...