My Poems

Now I Fly

I thought I was past all this hating myself,

but it seems all I want to be is that girl on the shelf,

the one on the covers,

based in important magazines,

the one who is discovered,

not just silenced and not seen,

but i guess self hate really can knock you down low,

im always the one standing at the bottom of the pedestol,

never first prize,

not even close,

i guess im invisible,

seen as a ghost,

because they all see straight through me,

my lies,

my fake smile,

I dont desrve to be here,

but I'll stay all the while,

the things that ive done,

and the things that ive seen,

when I was just five years old my canvas was clean,

but instead of a brush,

I was a little niave,

thought the pain would seep away,

kissing razors was the dream,

because we all dream of heaven,

but we dont want to die,

I'll tell you right now,

I can't even lie,

If I could wake up tomorrow,

to the land behind the sky,

I'd take my chances,

see these wings,

now I fly.

the girl thats not important,

now I'll say my goodbyes,

dont pretend to care now,

it wont bring me back,

I dont care for this anyway,

my world fades to black.