Shut Up and Kiss Me

Chapter 5: Distanced

  His words hit me like a punch to the gut. I couldn't die. As far as Ben was concerned, I was all he had. What would happen to him if I was gone? He'd never been close with our parents, just me and out aunt and uncle. Ben had already been forced to watch them die. I couldn't let him lose me too.

  I swallowed. "We....we have to do something, Rick. Ben already thinks this is his fault." Panic was spreading through me quickly. I couldn't die and not just because of Ben, but because I didn't want to. There was no way I was ready for that kind of final commitment.

  "Alright, alright. Calm down. I'll go tell Jasper. Ben will wait with you."

  I nodded and took a few deep breaths so I wouldn't alarm Ben.

  "Shit."

  "What?" I snapped to attention and lifted my head when I heard Rick's tone.

  "Ben's gone. The door was open. He must have heard everything we said."

  "No." I moaned, leaning back on the table. "Fuck!" I yelled, slamming my fist on the cot.

  "I have to find him." I said. I tried to sit up.

  "Hey, hey, hey. No." Rick said, pushing me back down.

  "Rick, we don't know where he's gone or what he's going to do." I pleaded.

  "Exactly, so going after him without help is a bad idea. I'll go tell Jasper. You stay here." He said sternly. "It won't do us or Ben any good if you bleed out trying to look for him."

  I bit my lip and looked away. Rick was right. I hated that he was right.

  "Okay." I conceded. "But you better find him."

  I let Rick leave, but as soon as he was gone, I felt empty with worry. Whatever he had pumped into my arm wasn't working to numb the pain. That wasn't a good sign, but nothing hurt worse than the thought that I would die if I didn't get help soon. I needed to see Ben. I needed his strength by my side, no matter how broken up he would be. He was the only family I wanted here.

  The door opened a few minutes later as Jasper burst into the room.

  "Oh, Marissa. What happened?" He asked, taking my hand. His milky brown eyes searched mine.

  I figured Rick had already caught him up on the important details, so I said, "Ben. You need to find Ben."

  "I will. Don't worry." Jasper brushed my hair back and kissed my forehead. "We're going to fix you too."

  I could see in his eyes just how determined he was, so I nodded. As much as I didn't want to die, Ben was a bigger priority. He could be hurting himself somewhere or God only knows what. He'd been so lost within himself after the attack four years ago. At eleven years old, I could only imagine how much that night had traumatized him. I didn't know how to help him at the time, but hust being there and not asking questions had been enough. Now I was reopening those wounds all over again with my condition.

  Jasper turned and I noticed another person in the room.

  He ordered on his way out, "Jodi, watch her. Make sure she doesn't try anything stupid."

  He knew I could hear him. Jasper knew me too well. If he'd left me alone, I would have definitely left to find Ben on my own. Even with a babysitter, I wasn't going to be deterred. I trusted Jasper on most things, but I couldn't trust anyone but me to find Ben. Jodi, my mom, stepped forward. She, more than any other mother, hadn't known how to deal with her kids.

  "I don't need a babysitter." I muttered.

  "Apparently he thinks you do." She replied, smugly.