“Ouch” he coughed, shivering on the wet floor.
“Evan, im so so sorry…I didn’t mean…I am sorry” I cried, im a freak.
“c-c-could you get off me, it hurts” he stuttered, as I jumped off him, he went to use his elbows to hoist himself up but wobbled weakly and fell down.
“Evan, im sorry, here let me help you” I cried. I lifted him up gently, but he still looked vacant…his eyes lifeless.
“Kill me” I heard a small whisper.
“Huh” I asked again.
“Kill me” he quietly sobbed.
“what…no…Evan im sorry” I cried, god if I had gone any further and actually done it I couldn’t even imagine what that would have done to him.
“Please…just kill me…let me be happy” he stared into my eyes and cried, I hugged him tight, clutching him as my hands tousled with his hair.
“Hit me, hate me, leave me if that will make it better, but please I can’t let you die, I love you too much…I know what I did was wrong but I don’t want you to die” I cried.
“You don’t get it” he started, leaving me confused.
“it’s not just that, you were going to force me…so what…you’re on the football team I was waiting for something like this to happen, but that’s not why I want to die, it’s because I have no one, I hate myself, I hate my life, everything is horrible…but I wouldn’t care if you raped me, I did say do it before didn’t i? Because I was breaking up with you, it could be your revenge” he sobbed.
“You do have someone, you have me…and no what I did was wrong” I sobbed again.
“I am breaking up with you, I don’t want to be your boyfriend, and I don’t want to live, I will eventually kill myself and you can’t stop me Jeremy” he cried.
“Shut up, I love you, I won’t let you die, and I hope you can forgive me, I want to be your boyfriend” I begged.
“No…I don’t love you” he bluntly said, I knew it was a lie, I just wanted him to smile again.
“Yes you do, I know it…I know you are upset at what my mother did, but please don’t hate me for it” I cried again.
“Let me go, im done with this conversation” he said, pushing me away, trying to get up but he failed.
“Achoo” I heard him sneeze and stared at him for a minute and noticed he was completely naked, I felt even worse and started taking off my shirt.
“Here, take it” I said.
“No, I don’t need your charity, im fine” he said turning away.
“You are stark naked in the rain, I want you to have it” I said forcefully grabbing him and putting it on, quickly doing up the buttons.
Before I let him say anything I picked him up and took him home.
“Let me go, im not going to your house” he said hitting me.
“we aren’t going there, I am taking you home, to your house” I saw the fear in his eyes, as he started to struggle in my arms, as he did that he hissed at the sudden pain he got from the bruises I inflicted making me feel guilty as all hell.
“I can’t go back there” he cried.
“Look the car is gone, they are at work aren’t they, and so it’s ok for now” I smiled.
“Where is the key?” I asked him, but he ignored me.
“Where is it” I asked again a bit louder this time.
“Under the pot” he said weakly.
I unlocked the door and carried Evan inside, I took him straight to the bathroom, and shoved him into the shower.
“What are you…” he started but I finished.
“You are cold and dirty because of me, I am going to help get you cleaned up, because I hurt you, you can’t move on your own properly can you” I explained.
“Im fine” he said.
“Too bad” I said as I un buttoned the shirt I put on him, and threw it on the ground, I moved closer to help clean him but he inched back away from me.
“I can do it myself” he snorted
“No you can’t, otherwise you would have hit me by now, just let me do it” I smiled.
He finally let me clean him, and he weakly sat there, and to think just the other day he was happy and smiling and look what being with me has done to him.
I got him out and wrapped him up in a towel as I went searching for clothes.
Evan’s POV
He washed me, what was I thinking, after what he tried to do…but who am I kidding, I deserved it and I love pain… I need pain maybe he should have done it.
He washed me in the shower how embarrassing, after, I sat on the bed as he went looking for something I could wear, my thoughts got stronger.
You’re worthless
You’re unwanted
You’re a freak
Kill yourself
Kill yourself
It kept running through my head.
I decided to do it, I needed to cut, and maybe this was my chance to finally end my pathetic life, I weakly got up and headed for the bathroom, I locked the door and sat against it, pulling a razor out the draw I hid from the last time I was in here, and held it to my wrist.
“EVAN, OPEN UP RIGHT NOW” I heard Jeremy scream, but I ignored him.
“Please, I’ll stay away from you, I’ll do anything you want just don’t do it please” he sobbed through the door.
“Why can’t you understand, I want to die, I need pain” is screamed.
“Because I love you, I don’t want you to need pain” he cried.
“It’s too late” I sobbed.
“I BEG YOU, please don’t” he cried again.
I decided now wasn’t the time, but I needed pain, and I knew deep down jeremy hated me enough to hurt me, I just had to bring that side out again.
“Fine” I started opening the door.
“Evan” he smiled in relief.
“You said you’d do anything…then if you don’t want me to cut or kill myself” I went on.
“Yeah...” he worried.
“Finish what you started before” I sobbed.
“What” he panicked.
“You heard me…force me…hurt me…give me pain” I sobbed, not very convincingly.
“No way” he yelled.
“Well then ill close this door and finish this instead” I grinned, he took a minute to decide what to do.
“Fine, I’ll do it” he cried painfully.
YOU ARE READING
the deepest cut(boyxboy)
Teen Fictionevan maxwell's parents suddenly said one morning that they are moving, evan hated this idea but shortly after they packed up and moved basically to the middle of no where well thats what evan thought , it was a very , very small city called kyoto, n...
