Elemental {Avengers}

17. Girls just wanna have sun

Madam B used to say that I was unbreakable. That I was harder than marble. That I was so strong, that nothing could break me. She was wrong. I was already broken, into countless tiny pieces. So broken, that there was no hope of putting me back together. Maybe so broken, that I couldn't be broken anymore.

Yes, I was strong. Strong enough to kill hundreds off innocents without batting an eye. Strong enough to live in a hellhole. Strong enough to watch as innocents suffered. But I wasn't strong enough to try to better myself. To look after myself. I wasn't strong enough to rid myself of the nightmares and visions that plague me so often.

The Avengers, out of all people, must have known how it feels to be used. And not one of them backed me up in that argument. I was fuming.

I lay down on the asphalt, brushing my hair off of my face to let more of the sunlight onto it. For now, I needed food, rest, sun, and a place to think. Even if my leg and shoulder were throbbing.

I lay there for a couple of hours, watching as the sun made its slow descent towards the horizon. After a while, a new feeling washed over me. Not happiness, no, but a sense of fulfilment. From being able to stand up to myself. To say to people that I had had enough of being a mere pawn. Of sitting at the sidelines. Even though I got verbally scolded, I felt aware that I had gone out on a mission. I had done something of my own accord. And I didn't care what anyone thought. I did it for myself. I did it because the information I had received would save lives. Maybe I was strong in that way. Strong in the way that I had stood up for myself for the first time in my life.

I grabbed a quesadilla and started eating, aware that someone had taken a seat beside me. Loki.

" The troublemaker has been escaping the building again, I see" I said, looking at him.

He smirked. " The Avengers are too caught up in their petty arguments to notice."

He started eating with me, and we both munched on a meal in silence. " What are you thinking? he asked.

" Can't you just read my mind?"

" When someone has... high emotions, they subconsciously create a wall in their mind."

" I never even realised"

" People rarely do"

" I've had enough of being a player in another person's game."

" Me too" he said. " For a long time, I was under Thanos and The other's influence. Thankfully, I am rid of them, for now." Loki paused, and a smile came over his face slowly. " Do you want to see what happened when the Avengers realised you were gone? It was quite the spectacle"

" Your memories?"

" Yes" he winked, and before I could process what was happening, I was whisked away, in a tide of Loki's thoughts, memories and dreams.

I was lounging on a chaise in the Avengers living room, lazing about. After all, I had nothing else to do. Other than check in on Maeve while she was on her little mission. A mission that I could not reveal to the Avengers, unless she was in real trouble. So far, the worst part was over, and now, I could sense her walking the streets, quite content. Before, I must admit, I was slightly worried, and clutched the armrests of my seat in anxiousness. He could have killed her, but she was too powerful, something I was grateful for.

Steve, Natasha and Clint entered the living room, looking downright exhausted and annoyed. By the look on their faces, they found no information regarding the Sceptre. They sat down on the giant, U-shaped couch and began to converse. Thor walked up to me and sat on a nearby chair, not repelled by my presence like the others were.