See I know that I am a good person
No ounce of sociopath in my bloodstream
I can never hurt people the way people have hurt me
Not shown kindness from a young young age
I often do think about how kind I am to everyone
As if I've known if my whole life
I may just be a little weird or awkward but
I am trying
I've never stood up for myself
So when I started to
You all deemed me as evil
Traumatized
A victim trapped in a painting portrayed by the abuser
A liar, a thief, a toxic breathing unmotivated little girl who was so lost in her own head she was terrified of herself
I wish I could burn all of this materialism people have pushed into me
And I wish my stomach didn't twist in anxiety every time I mess up
No matter all the pain, the guilt and heartache
I try to see the good in everyone
Redoing the heartbreaks
Like retaking an exam
Too good of a soul for all this hatred
Betrayed
Belittled
Undermined
The spitefulness falling out of your sentences
Selfish or selfless?
At time I am both
But for now
I'll fall in the same patterns
I trip and fall but please
Don't catch me
Nobody can deal with my issues
So I don't get
Why anyone fucking tries
At this point I see watercolors drip from my eyes
And sketches adorn my skin
I am human, I am beautiful
And I'll be damned
If anyone makes me feel less than that
