Close As Strangers » a.i

04

- Tilly's point of view -

Since Ashton never called 3 days ago, and left Calum to answer, he hasn't called me since. Maybe had had moved on, all I knew was that I missed his voice and talking to him in the early hours of the morning.

The whole situation had me distracted; at work, home, out with friends and family. I was the one telling him everything has changed, he had every reason to move on.

As I was drifting off into sleep, my phone rang, the caller ID of 'Ash'.

"Hello?" I croaked, still half asleep.

"Hey Tilly"

"Oh hi"

"I'm sorry I haven't called lately, or answering yours, I've had a few things to deal with and they've been on my mind a lot"

"Want to talk about them?" I said, an easy way of asking what they were.

"No it's fine"

"Ashton, are we wasting time? doing this whole thing"

"For what?"

"Talking on a broken line, we hardly have anything to talk about anymore, I feel like we're as close as strangers. I've offered to fly out to you Ashton"

"I know you have baby, it's just I'm busy with studio work and touring, I feel like we won't have any time for each other and you coming over is just a waste of money, only a few months left Tilly, then reunited, we won't give up, even if it hurts so much"

"Ashton?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did Calum answer the other day? and there was laughing in the background, you know like girls"

"Oh um, we was sat on the tour bus with the door open, I was talking to some fans outside the door, Calum answered the phone because it was inside on the um- table."

"Oh that's nice" I knew he was lying and there was no doubt about it.

"You know, when I see fans through meet and greets or shows, I see your face everywhere, and every night i'm losing you in a thousand faces and i'm scared I won't see you again"

"See me again? It's more that I won't see you again, like I said, it feels like we-"

"Yeah, now it feels like we're as close as strangers, I understand Tilly, I'm sorry we have nothing to talk about, I'm sorry I disappoint you, you know calling you every night, making sure that you're okay takes a lot of time to do with my schedule"

"Where did that even come from? I'm not disappointed in you Ashton? You know I call you also? Oh and I was the one who called you these past 3 nights because you didn't bother answering and if it takes up so much time in your schedule why are we doing this then?"

"Don't turn this around on me Tilly"

"I'm not, you're the one turning it around on me like it's all my fault. Late night calls and another text, is this as good as we're gonna get?"

"Another timezone taking me away from you so don't blame me for it, I can't control time zones"

"I'm not blaming you Ashton, what the fuck has happened which made you turn on me like this?"

"You're right, why are we doing this Tilly? why are we still together? I mean we are completely different, we both waste each others time, so why?"

"What?" My voice broke then and there.

By now, tears were streaming down my face, trying to keep them in so Ashton couldn't hear me crying knowing he would end up saying things and not very nice either.

I could hear raised voices at the other end of the line, probably the other boys having an argument. Then hearing my name and Ashton's name being involved, I knew it was about this phone call and what Ashton was saying to me. The call then ended with Ashton hanging up.

Which left me crying myself to sleep and wondering if Ashton and I did just split up.