Close As Strangers » a.i

02

- Tilly's point of view -

It was another friday night, the sixth friday without Ashton, the 43rd day without him, or should I just say, another friday night in tears.

I wasn't crying because I missed Ashton with all my heart, part of it was because I was lonely, and another part of it was that I felt I needed to move on with my life, knowing Ashton can move on too. I need someone who can stick with me, and not stay for only a week to go travelling again for months on end.

It's not that I didn't love Ashton, because I did a lot and that will never change no matter what. Ashton deserved someone who would go on the road travelling with him, who would cope with all the rumours, and that just wasn't me.

Every night, me and Ashton called each other and spend numerous hours talking about nonsense and laughing until our stomachs hurt, but there was always the guilt there no matter what. I would spend every night waiting up till pointless hours of the morning waiting for him to call.

My phone rang on my bedside table, seeing it was only 1:30am and it was early for him to be ringing. I tried to stop my crying as much as possible and try to keep calm.

"Ashton, hey"

"Hey babe, how you doing"

"Good yeah, just tired"

"Oh I'm sorry, go to sleep, we can talk tomorrow"

"Oh no, it's fine, what about you then, how you doing"

"Yeah good, it's been a long day, just having a few drinks with the boys on the bus then I think we're going to head out into LA for a bit"

"Sounds like fun" I sniffled.

"Your not crying are you"

"No, like I've said it's my hay fever" Laughing.

I never liked to tell Ashton I cried most nights, pretty much because of him, he would always get worried and make a huge deal out of it and quit plans just to sit on call with me, and I didn't want to ruin his fun.

"Haha alright babe, I miss you, you know that"

"I do, I miss you too"

"And every night that we spend alone, thinking of you on your own"

"I'm fine Ash, honestly"

"Your not though, and I wish I was back home next to you"

"You are in my head, laid right next to me"

"As long as that makes you happy, I'll go along with it" He giggled.

"Every day you feel a little bit further away, and I don't know what to say" and with saying that, I wanted to cry even harder.

"I say, keep your head up and know whatever I'm still there with you no matter what"

"I love you Ashton, a lot"

"I love you a lot too Tils, I'll be home soon, I promise"

"Promise?"

"Promise"

"Okay then" I let out a small laugh.

"Anyway, I better get going, the boys want to go out, see you later babe"

"Bye" 

I let out a sigh with placing my phone back down on the bed side table, wondering when soon would be.

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