Holt on

Take me home. Country Roads.

*Uh real NEGATIVE tones

Warm.

That's all  I felt.

In the beginning, I thought it felt like my body was being inverted and transported into liquid.

I didn't know if someone threw me into the river at dawn or what.

I missed my cat.

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Day whatever.

I couldn't see anything, so I couldn't mark down the days on what I thought were...walls.

I tried moving and felt a swish but it did nothing but alert me of another.....mushy presence.

Screaming was never an option when I realized what was going on. Because I don't even know if I had a mouth, If I did it didn't work.

I wondered how I was able to think, since I felt like a stub. But then again, how was I here? If I was stuck here then I couldn't really ever find out if god was actually a woman. Probably was.

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There was progress, I recalled the greg heffley book of the mom placing music on her stomach. I didn't know what was going on but that sounded too boring to be music.

I heard laughter, it echoed throughout and it was loud.

I didn't like it, I didn't like  being the product of reverse vore,I thought of all the photos I'd seen accidentally when looking up that word, if I could've vomited I would've. I'd have to make it up after I escaped  here.

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I had time to think to myself while I was busy being crowded around with the other presence who was uh. Beginning to get big. Like those dinosaur grow pills and this place had plenty of water.  It was obvious who was going to be the healthiest.

Other than that, my mind drifted. 

Why wasn't I afraid? 

Oh right. I guess the trauma of dying was enough.

But still.... why was I so okay with a whole new life and family? Had I not become that attached to my family?

No. 

I hadn't.

They showed signs of being attached to me though, the old family. 

I..loved them, and they loved me. I was lucky to even have one back then and now. Actually, we'll see about that second part soon this summer and stuff.

Oh no don't like this, don't like being forced to spend all my time alone with my thoughts and the other fetus ...thing.

I realized after a while why I didn't ...miss them so much.

I was afraid of them. I always was, treading on eggshells at every corner. Or swords more like it.

They thought I was filled with evil, and they were trying to get rid of it. They loved me and tried to do the right thing in their eyes, but it was so..wrong.

I  never really felt comfortable with my body back then, never really knew what I was attracted to or not.

They didn't like that. It was a no no.

They took away a lot of my stuff, I'd remember the punishments I had.

Stop thinking about that, I told myself. They aren't here we're fine aren't we? so shut up bitch boy.

Yeah. Maybe in this life i'd be able to have a sick wizard beard. One so long it could whip out and reach and touch the hearts of others. 

Yeah. Didn't like having to think. Was I even a bitch boy?

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I felt....screaming, moving, pushing,shoving.

Weight being shifted wasn't so careful anymore it was, frantic.

Panicking ,I shifted around and stopped as soon as that caused more yelling.

Soon it stopped but the grunts and screams didn't it. The other presence was being pushed it slowly but surely, it turns out it won the race after a sigh of relief and then more screaming occured. Fuck, I was younger than them, I couldn't do the when I was your age thing.

 I felt myself being painfully pushed out I tried to scream but it wasn't working, it was hours before, I was stuck, and unstuck, pushed and not pushed. 

She wanted this stupid fucking bag of rocks out bad apparently. 

I could hear the swears, I was familiar with entirely all of them so I  wouldn't need to go behind everyone's backs to learn them again.

After the final push....I was out. Victory.

And I learned exactly what crybaby meant.

It was cold, I didn't like this place anymore it was bright when I opened my eyes and everything was big, everyone was touching me.

I formed fists trying to point back to the direction of the new mommy to make them shove me back in. I wanted warmth.

Instead they held me up and cradled my neck and placed me on the table.

I started screaming even more loudly,none of them gave a damn it was like customer service training where you have to remain calm at the unstable explosive patient, when they snipped a cord off me. It was attached to me before, and I became attached to it. I didn't want to suck anything!

One of them cleaned me off and  wrapped me up with a soft blanket,handing me in the arms of what I assumed was my mother, I was too tired to care and look up.

She seemed extremely relieved, and probably very drugged. I wanted that right now, I didn't care about all those red ribbon ralley's about not doing them, I was in pain.

But I stopped crying when she wrapped her arm comfortably around me. Pushing me together with the other hideous blob. 

The door opened with a man coming back with a  little boy, he looked disgusted. But delighted. Either at us or the fact we weren't hurting his mommy anymore I had no clue.

Oh no. He was going to be one of those brothers wasn't he. The one that didn't let you get away with anything, protective. I didn't like that I was used to strict supervision and I didn't want that anymore. 

I were never a jock. But he looked like a nerd, I threw away your plans of switching myself with another baby, that one. That one right there, I wanted to have fun with, although not the cruel kind. 

I closed my eyes tiredly, drifting to sleep before he could even get to the bed thank gods.