Off the Rails

Chapter Twenty

Dakota
I was surprised that when Drake walked out, the first thought that crossed my mind was that I had never seen him cry before.

Until then, I guess.

He looked so broken, so sad. It made my chest ache.

Then, after that realization hit me, and after the door shut behind him, I started to sob.

I sat on the bottom step on the staircase and just started crying. I yelled at the empty room.

Liam just pissed me off. I should have figured he was just the type of person to throw a temper tantrum if he didn't get what he wanted. I mean, he was obviously stressful and infuriating, but I could handle that.

But seeing Drake like that, it struck a new kind of fear in me. I always knew he could be grumpy at times and stubborn, but with me, he seemed a little happier. And, besides, did he ever scare me? Never. Underneath that gruff exterior, he had a heart of gold.

Which is why his actions that day frustrated me so much.

I knew he got out of control and angry, but why? Because Liam called me a name? We're not in elementary school. He shouldn't have taken the bait like that. I had it under control.

Maybe the worst part of the whole situation was that it was my fault. Because it absolutely, one hundred percent was.

I was the one who went out with Liam after I couldn't have Drake. I was the one who harbored a crush on the latter while in a steady relationship. Then, I was the one who dumped Liam to be with his best friend.

I was the one who separated a life long friendship of two people I cared for. And look at the mess I made.

How else did I think this would end? How did I ever think that we could all get along after what I did?

The guilt dug away at me, until I felt absolutely empty.

This was all on me.

I noticed a spot of blood on the hardwood floor. Liam's blood that Drake spilt.

I knew I had to clean it up, so I shakily stood up and went to get a rag. The sick feeling in my stomach was more than a description, apparently, because as soon as I stood over the sink, I vomited into it. The crying, the blood, and the guilt had caught up with me.

Not to my surprise, throwing up didn't help. It just left a sour taste in my mouth.

My mind still foggy, and tears still falling, I cleaned up Liam's blood off the floor. Then, I headed upstairs to my room. I had no energy, and it was still early in the morning.

Laying on my bed, I realized how bad I had been for both Drake and Liam. I thought about how they were fine before I came, how I just wrecked their lives. I couldn't make up my mind. I couldn't trust anyone's feelings.

And I selfishly thought that just because I was happy, that because Drake seemed happy, that it was okay that I ruined everything.

That explosive fight had proved me completely wrong.

I cared about Liam, and I definitely felt something incredibly strong for Drake, but if all I had ever done was mess up his life, what was the point?

I made a decision, laying there, with a pounding headache and glossy eyes. I made a decision that was the hardest one of my life.

But it was the only option that seemed right, the only option that could put these boys' lives back to how they were before. Before me.

I picked up my phone and dialed my mother's number. She picked up after about two rings, and I could tell by the background noise that she was still at the grocery store.