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Chapter 16 : I am not giving her up

Haya's POV

After Baba's outburst Mama dragged me to my room. Baba was always like this. Who would get angry hardly but when he gets he doesn't listens to anyone.

"Haya ....." Mama scowled.

"Your Baba is right ... I think you should give her up for adoption" Mama said making my head snap at her direction.

"Mama please .... I can't just give her away ..... why don't you understand that ....." I pleaded wiping my tears.

"Haya ... Do you even know what people are taking about you" Mama said in a stern voice. 

"I would rather let them talk about myself than to make Noor suffer." I said with firm voice.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND ......  do you even realize the intensity of the issue here ..... HAYA, she is not your responsibility. You have already done enough for her. That's it ....." Mama yelled at me.

"Haya don't make it difficult for us ... For God's sake ..... Haniya's Death has already broken us please don't make it more difficult for us" Mama pleaded while joining her hands.

I stood up form the bed and held her hands and lowered her hands while shaking my head sideways.

"Haya ... please" She pleaded for the last time as a tear streaked down her cheek. She left after that.

After Mama left I was in constant dilemma.

"Ya Allah what  will I do?"

I prayed silently leaking few tears. Glancing at Noor. My heart ached even more on the thought of her going away from me.

Looking around my room I saw all toys ... Her toys. She was everywhere. My room was totally changed form the way it looked the day I came back. It was not the room I use to have. It was now our room. Our world, the world we shared together.

Glancing back at her. My inner turmoil increased. I placed the mat again and started praying again. My heart was not at peace. I cried in sujud (prostration) to Allah. I cried for Allah to show me a way. I cried on my life which was full of surprises and its surprises were not ending at all.

After praying till my heart was little at peace. I moved to my bed and slipped into covers besides Noor who was already in deep slumber. 

My heart was again in delight knowing that she is here and I can call her mine and She will be loved unlike me.

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I was again standing at the same river. I saw myself at the same place but this time the baby was already in my arms. I stared at the baby, the only thing that I could really see was eyes ---- hazel green eyes and all the other thing were blur. I smiled at her. Before I move back I saw a man on the other side of the river. He was kneeling down with his hand covering his face. He was in pain. I was observing the man who was on the other side of the river but suddenly the river sparkling started turned pitch black. I hurriedly moved back form the edge in fear of that black water. The level of water was rising and I was moving back and back. I saw that water engulfing the man. I hurriedly moved more back before it could reach my feet. I moved back, there was darkness everywhere. I wanted to get out of there. Suddenly I reached somewhere, I don't know where. There was a bench where there was a small light bulb that was lightening the area. I quietly moved back to that bench and sat on that bench. The darkness was making me afraid. I was always afraid of dark. I felt myself crying. I was crying with my face snuggled into the baby. I wanted to get out of there. I prayed in my heart that someone would come and take me away from here. Then I saw a known hand towards me. It was a mans hand.