Chaotic Hearts | ✓

12 | pathetic?

12 | pathetic?

THERE WAS LAUGHTER ringing in her ears. Anika pulled knees to her chest and let out a low whimper.

The cold and mirthless laughter sent shivers down her body and Anika looked her trembling lips. Her whole body was shaking with fear and the darkness in the room didn’t seem to help. She had accidentally switched off the lamp and now she couldn’t find it in herself to reach and switch it back on even as much as she wanted to.

“I don’t know what people get by interfering in my work but know what, I had enough of it. I am done letting you trivial people toy with me. I am going to teach you lesson.”

Anika screamed when a fist connected with the side of a woman’s face. She watched as a man clad in black dragged her away and Anika pushed her fingers inside her ears to block out the woman’s scream.

Cold sweat ran down her face and Anika pressed her sweaty palms to the side of her face. She rubbed her parched throat and took deep breaths, trying to calm down her erratic heartbeats. She rocked her body back and forth but nothing seemed to help.

Suddenly the lights were flicked on and Anika levelled her chin up to see a panicky Shivaay who scrambled to her side. He pulled her body into his and Anika flinched at the touch, she tried to pull back but he only pulled her more towards him, running a hand down her spine, soothing her stiff muscles. Anika finally felt her body relax against his, the trembling coming to a stop slowly. “Shhhh, shh, it’s okay, it’s okay. I am here, I am here, love, don’t you worry. You are safe, baby. No one is going to hurt you, you hear me? You are safe.” Tears ran down her cheeks and Anika buried her face in his chest, letting out a long breath. “You are strong, love, you can make it.”

It would have been useful if Anika had even a bit of self-love. It was a lot harder to make people believe it when they had come to hate themselves.

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Shivaay tightened his arms around his wife’s figure as he felt his heart break bit by bit as she slowly fell into a deep slumber. Hopefully, nightmares would not trouble her.

Her panic attack had made him feel so pathetic. He already was but that just shoved into his face. He was a failure at being a husband. And now come to think of it, he had done a very shoddy job at being a good son, brother or friend in the past few months.

Gods, was Shivaay Singh Oberoi the most pathetic human being of all the time.

He looked at her tear streaked face and tucked a few askew hair behind her ear. He didn’t deserve someone as beautiful as her. He didn’t. She was too pure for him.

He gulped hard; he had to pay a visit to police station. That was what he ought to do. Take the advice he had given Anika today. We gotta do things even if we don’t want to. Sometimes for our loved ones or for ourselves. He needed to tell the police. It was going to be hard but fuck, he couldn’t watch Anika destroy herself.

Anika Oberoi deserved justice and he would be damned if he didn’t make sure that happened.

He was not giving up on her.

“Hang in there, love, I promise I am not letting you go anywhere now.”

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Anika tried to roll over but something was caging her. She opened her eyes and found the most angelic face next to hers. Shivaay was sleeping right beside her with his mouth half ajar and even in morning he had good breath. When she tried to shift again, Anika became aware of their position.

Shivaay Singh Oberoi had his arms wrapped around her waist and he held her protectively against his body.

Anika swallowed hard. She didn’t know if it was her claustrophobia acting or if it was his body warmth that had suddenly caused her heart to race a mile per hour. She tried to wriggle out of his hold discreetly without disturbing his sleep but it seemed he wasn’t in a deep sleep. He sprang up and ran his hands through his hair–something Anika noticed he did quite often–“Are you alright? It’s okay.”

From what Anika could gather from the situation was that she had bit of an episode last night and it left her feeling sad but it didn’t last long because seeing Shivaay panic was a hilarious sight as he forced her to down a glass of water. “Yes, I know everything is fine,” Anika chuckled but it was a bad decision because she hadn’t downed the water properly and she now choked on it. She rubbed her chest and tried to take deep breaths. “Holy… shit.”

Shivaay was immediately by her side, rubbing her back as she coughed, “Oh come on, love, how do you manage to choke on thin air?” Anika glared at him.

“I thought you knew clumsy people also have the ability to choke on thin air. Too bad you didn’t,” Anil ground out as she finally got herself to breathe normally.

“You alright now?” He asked, ignoring her remark.

“Yeah, yeah, I am fine now.” She got up, “I am gonna take a shower now. Can you make me some coffee while I do so?” Shivaay nodded and made his way out of the room. Anika walked towards the closet and opened it up. A bunch of clothes hung in the wardrobe, varying in color and style. Anika rummaged through it, biting down on her lip when she couldn’t find long sleeved clothes that didn’t show any skin. After many tries, she found a couple sweaters and hoodies buried in a drawer. She grabbed a maroon sweater–making sure it wasn’t crop top style–and a pair of jeans. She walked to the bathroom and bolted the door. Anika stripped out of her clothes and made her way to the bathtub. Filling it with hot water, she sank into it, her stiff muscles relaxing in the warm water.

Everything was turning out fine until Anika looked down at her body. Tears immediately pooled her eyes as she noticed the grotesque and ugly scars that tainted her body. She felt hideous looking at herself. They reminded how weak she must have been to stay stuck in that hell hole for six months. The worst part was Anika wouldn’t have even been able to get away had it not been for that one woman.

Hot tears leaked out of her eyes. She grabbed a scrubber from the side of the bathtub and fiercely scrubbed her hands, trying to rid herself of the painful reminders. Her skin turned red and yet Anika couldn’t find herself to stop.

She needed to be free.

Slowly, her body gave out and Anika slumped against the bathtub. She pressed her hands on her mouth and tried to muffle her cries as tears leaked out of her eyes. She wiped her tears and wrapped a towel around her body, stepping out of the tub. But her tears were in no mood to stop, they streamed down her face and blurred her vision. Anika bit her lip so hard she could the metallic taste of blood in her mouth.

She splashed the cold water on her face and heaved a sigh. Slipping into her innerwear, Anika glanced once more at the mirror, immediately wishing she didn’t. Sunken eyes, hollow cheeks, pale skin and unruly hair.

Why? Why was Anika Maheshwari the most worthless person ever? Why couldn’t she be like most girls who were strong, smart and beautiful? Why was she just Anika?

She turned her head away, unable to look at her marred face any longer. She threw on her clothes and didn’t focus on her appearance.

Because at the end of the day, no matter how much she criticized herself, she would always be Anika.

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Wow, this turned out to be pretty depressing. And yes, my loves, this is what I was talking about when I said this story has its dark elements. Please don't leave this story because of this. I'm trying to convey a message here.

Please don't give up yet.

Love, x