I wake up normally no one waking me up and Joe's still asleep so I go to the bathroom cutting my arm and cleaning up and then heading down stairs and i see all the boys exspet corbyn are asleep on the sofa and Jonah awake
I walk to the kitchen making myself coffee and sit down on the table going throw my phone and drinking my coffee and heading back up stairs
Jonah : I am sorry
Tegan ; I don't care
I carry on walking up stairs and into my room and see Joe awake
Tegan: hey
Joe: hi how did u sleep
Tegan : pretty good how did u sleep
Joe,: amzing this bed is comfy
Tegan : I know it is how long are u staying because u got training
Joe: I know how long do u want me around
Tegan : it's up to u need to train tho and I'll be back soon before u know it
Joe: yh I know
Tegan ; so go back today and tomrrow u work your ass off and win
Joe: I will but are u ok
Tegan: I'm fine and if anything ever happens then I'll come right back
Joe: ok I'll book now
Tegan : good
He books his flight and it leaves in a couple hours hours so we went out for breakfast and then he goes
Christan : he really is a nice person and u deserve a good person
Tegan : thank u and he really has out a smile on my face since all the stuff that happend
Corbyn : what did happen because I could tell Chris had been crying
Christan : it dosent matter
Tegan: I don't mind telling
Christan : u sure
Tegan : mhh
I explain most things to everyone just not about Jonah being it
Corbyn : I'm sorry
Tegan : it's fine it happend over a year ago
Daniel : aleast he makes u happy
Tegan : yh
We watch a film and have some sweets just chilling and feeling down so I go upstairs and into the bathroom and grabbing the blade and cutting my arm and it stings so badly but I need to do something
I then turn the shower on and getting unchanged and getting in and doing my stuff and getting out drying myself and got changed and walking back down stairs and sitting on the sofa on my phone
Tegan: I'm gonna go to bed early
Jack: what about dinner
Tegan: not hungry
Christan : u need to eat
Tegan : I'm to tired to be hungry so I'll see u tomrrow
I walk upstairs and go to my room getting in my pjs and getting in bed and falling asleep
Next moring
I wake up and it's quite early and I can't get back to sleep so I get out of bed and get in a sports bra and shorts and head down stairs and yet again Jonah's awake
I just walk out the door and start my run I run to where ever I can so i run up the clif on the beach and run back down i then go to the Hollywood sigh about half way and stop and get my breath back and carry on running up to the top and get my breath back and sit down for a bit and then run to Christans and go throw the door
Christan: back in time the pancakes are done
Tegan: not hungry
Jonah : why
Tegan : I don't know
I run upstairs and get in leggings and a baggy top and go back down and my legs are like jelly they hurt so much I then get a message from joe
Joe: watch our new dance it's on YouTube now xx
Tegan : ok will xx
I go to YouTube and connect it to the tv
Tegan : come watch Joe dance
Christan : what
Tegan: well u know he doing striclley
Christan : yh
Tegan: well his new one just aired
Corbyn : put it on I want to him dance
Christan : wow he's good
Tegan : I know but the his dance before was funny
Daniel : put that one on then
Tegan : alright calm down
Daniel : he needs to teach me
Tegan: it's more of Diane who dose she's amzing and so nice
Jonah : do u ever get jelouse because of how close they are and he could cheat
Corbyn : u had to say that
Tegan : no because I trust him
I get up and walk upstairs into my room and yes I Joe
Tegan: u did amzing keep going xx
Joe: thank u just wish u were there to see me xx
Tegan; me to it would be amzing to see xx
Joe: yh well if I stay in the final u can see me xx
Tegan: not if when u make it to the final I'll be there cheering xx
Joe: good right I need to go it's late here xx
Tegan: ok have a good night xx
I stay in my room for ages just watching YouTube or looking at memes and maybe they would cheer me up
Christan : t can i come in
Tegan : yh
She comes in
Christan : we're going out come with
Tegan : no I'm gonna stay here
Christan : why
Tegan : my legs hurt to much I did a massive run
Christan : where did u go
Tegan: up the Clif and down and then all the way up to the Hollywood sigh
Christan : how that is just fucking long
Tegan : I know but I wanted a big run and I did but maybe a bit to far
Christan : ok well were be back in a bit
Tegan : have fun
They all leave and I stay in bed looking at the celling
Hey dad I'm still struggling not knowing how much longer I can go being here I act all fine but I just hate everything so many things have gone wrong in my life and things would be easyer when I'm up there with u
I get out of bed and walk down stairs and turn the tv on and watch a couple episodes of ellet before they all come back
Christan : what have u done
Tegan : watched tv
Jack: that's boring we went shopping
Tegan : nice
Daniel : we brought u food
Tegan : not hungry
Christan : have u eaten
Tegan: no I don't feel well
Christan: u need to eat
Tegan : I know
Corbyn: u will get even more ill
Tegan : mhh
Zach : we need u stay healthy
Tegan : like u care u don't even like me
Zach: I'm starting to like u
Tegan : k
I walk up stairs and go to the bathroom locking it and grabbing a blade from my bag and cutting my arm
Tegan: uh
I clean my arm and open the door and see Christan
Tegan : trying to give me a heart attack
Christan : sorry
Tegan : ok
Christan : so u coming down to watch tv with us
Tegan : I'm gonna sleep
Christan : uh ok
Tegan: I'll see u tomrrow
Christan : yh
I walk to my room getting in my pjs and getting in bed and falling asleep
