Angels of Death : Maniac (Zack x Reader or OC)

***Chapter 17: Seeing what they see***

This will be a double upload so if you guys want to skip this one you can and still read something!

*********TRIGGER WARNING*********

A/N: Anyone who has experienced sexual or physical abuse feel free to skip this section entirely or skip to the next chapter for Zack's Story. This whole chapter is a trigger warning and has been really hard for me to write, but this character needs a compelling backstory to go along with the character. I don't wish to make anyone uncomfortable and i want this story to be as compelling as possible. That being said I don't want anyone to even consider this to be a healthy or good solution to said problems being discussed.

Read away

Reader POV

When I open my eyes I am in the past. It's strange because i feel as though i am in the past but I am looking at my self through my current self. It's strange to look at myself from years ago. To look at the things I allowed to happen to myself. The dream starts off on the night i was "killed"...... I had just come home after going to school for the day...I remember that day because i was really getting into my mechanical engineering class and we had a pop quiz that I had totally aced. It was one of the few days i was starting to feel like myself. I studied and worked hard to get away from my boyfriend and his family. I would make them think I was barely passing or failing completely. I would lie to them...... I came home to one day in particular..... an empty house.... which was rare and intimidating....although I was afraid of him and his family.....I felt lonely without them. I followed myself as she went upstairs to take a shower. I would walk home and today had been hot outside. I went to the bathroom and began to undress. I was shocked to see what I looked like back then from my current self. I look at myself looking in the mirror. I was still busty but i was basically emaciated. HE would usually call me fat, a pig, a slob.......I couldn't handle the pressure....I stopped eating.....I see myself touch my ribs and wince when she ran over a bruise......I was black and blue all over my chest from being ruthlessly grabbed and groped.....my ribs from being kicked when I didn't listen....my legs....from being forced apart........ I look at my former self and my hand tenses up into a hard fist. Looking at this now.....why now.....I was so pathetic.....so stupid.... but the worst is yet to come..... My former self looks at these bruises on my body and sighs "I need to get out of here soon, these people will be the death of me...." I sigh. I watch myself hop in the shower and relax for just a moment before I start washing the makeup off my face.........back when i was younger I wore makeup all the time to cover the marks....... I look at myself with pity and disgust as she gets out of the shower.....What a poor stupid girl....I was too impatient.....if I had only waited a little longer...no I made my decision and I will not regret what I did...

I see my face in the mirror and the bruises there are a yellowish green color; almost healed. Sometimes I would think I could take a break from makeup, but the second one was healed another would appear soon enough. HE was relentless and insatiable. God I want to vomit..... How could I let it go this far.. I have my back to the wall when I walk up to myself and look at us both in the mirror. Only My current self can see us both. I look at myself now. I may have a couple scratches from that hellhole, but even then I look and feel better then ever. I changed my appearances shortly after. .... I am in far better shape my legs are well defined and my arms are tone....... I try to touch my former self.....but my arm just falls right through her. She's bare. Skin and bones......looking at myself i can see why they called me nothing.....there was barely enough of me there to be anything at all "I'm leaving tonight, I can't stand it anymore, they will be the death of me......anywhere is better then here" My eyes shot open, even though I had lived through this I was surprised to hear my own determination from the outside looking in, but i could see i was shaking. I was scared....

But it was the death of me.....I was reborn into something else.....

 I follow myself to the bedroom HE and I shared and get dressed. I would wear a lot of baggy clothes to hide my thin emaciated body and they would cover my marks. "This is the perfect opportunity, they aren't home and I can be out quick." Sweet ignorant (Sara)..... HE will prove to you freedom will come at a price.

I start to pack anything i can fit into my backpack and a small piece of luggage.....little did I know that HE came home whilst I was packing and came upstairs. I hear him open the door......I look at my former self.....Run you idiot....do something! ANYTHING FIND A WAY OUT! DON'T LET HIM TOUCH YOU! My former self freezes. My current self doesn't; I go at him kicking and screaming, trying to save my former self from everything.... from him.... but I can't touch him, and he can't see me......

"What the fuck do you think your doing..." My past self freezes and turns around, but by then its too late. I see HIM kick me in the stomach and look over to my bags I was filling with my own possessions. "Where did you think you were gonna go?" He laughs at me and grabs my hair. When I was a teenager I used to have it as long as I could stand it. I could almost sit on it. I loved my hair...... It hasn't touched my shoulders since then.......

He starts smacking me. Looking at this from the outside is so hard, I keep trying to grab him, rip him off me, punch him kick him anything, but my current self just phases through him......I look at my past self taking this abuse. I had learned not to scream for him pretty quickly into the abuse starting, it would push him farther and farther; gave him more determination to break me if you will. I think this time that's what he was looking for, for screaming groveling, me asking for forgiveness.....but I just stayed silent.... He takes the first thing he can find which happens to be a lamp and rips it out of the wall. This was the last time I was truly afraid for my life. He raised the lamp over my head and crashes it down on my head. My former self is immediately knocked out. I see my past self try to hold on to consciousness but only enough to see the smirk on his face.....my head is bleeding and I just cant stay awake.... He looks at me with a smirk on his face and I can tell what comes next..... He starts to rip my clothes off.......I can't watch this part.....I will never watch this part.....I will never even give him the power from the grave......I close my eeyes tight, fall to my knees and put my face in my hands to shield me from the scene. I force myself to fast forward the dream.....I would do anything..... Anything to never see or re experience that again......

Luckily when I open my eyes again I am in that forest a mile from their home and his mother and father are helping him throw my body into a grave they quickly dug, I was barely clothed.... just underwear.......... God they were just a blight on humanity......They start leaving and I just look at my shallow grave in shock.... FUCK THIS SHIT.  I start trying anything I can to force myself into the dream.....I go over to my shitty grave and try to dig, my hands still phasing through everything. "NO NO NO NO I AM CHANGING THIS STORY!!!!!! THIS IS MY STORY!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS MY PAST!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

My hands stop phasing through the dirt. "YES!!! YES!!!! I WILL FIND A WAY OUT FOR YOU< I AM GOING TO HELP YOU!!!!!!!!." I can feel her digging on the other side! "YES!" I see her hand shoot out of the grave and I grab it quickly and begin to pull her out and pull her out. I look at past self now, she looks more like me now....this is who I really am and I will never go back to being that helpless bitch.....I look at her and she looks back at me in shock. I can imagine how seeing yourself would be shocking, even in a dream..... I take off my shirt and hand it out to her, I smile, "Let's go take our life back." She smiles back and takes the shirt. She put it on and it barely covers her/my? ass..... She looks back at me with that look in her eyes, Doctor Danny must have been talking about.... seeing it from the outside it is intoxicating..... She smiles at me...

"Fuck yeah. "