Yay my first review! Thanks for submitting I hope you enjoy!
Name: Palepath
Cool name, I like it.
Why: In memorial of mothers dead sister, adventures spirit.
That's adorable that he did that. (≧σ≦)
Age: 17 moons
Young, ok.
Gender: Tom
Nice.
Sexuality: Bisexual
Ok.
Clan/tribe: loner (former BearClan)
Oooooh, I like that clan name.
Rank: N/A
Why is it not available? Is it supposed to be expected? The least you could say is 'loner/rouge (former BearClan warrior)' it just makes sense to say that. So I advise you write that on future notes.
Personality: adventurous, curious, disobedient, unorganized, careless, independent, honest
Pretty good. I like the part of carelessness, though everything else seems... typical. Though the traits aren't terrible, I would add some more unique traits.
Family: Mother: Dusttwig Father: unknown
First off 'Dusttwig' is kinda weird sounding, though not a bad name I first read it as 'Dustwig'. Second off, unless your story was in a W.I.P you, as the creator should know who his father is. I suggest fixing them though you don't HAVE to fix the first one. Oh and if you ever submit another oc please insert some descriptions, though I won't take off points cuz' I didn't say I needed them.
Brother: Rosefreckle
Again descriptions.
Backstory: Palepath was an average BearClan warrior. Until he discovered the bustling twoleg place at the edge of BearClan territory. He was fascinated and decided to leave his clan behind for the city life, where he met his mate, Adderpaw. Another former clan cat.
A little short, but interesting. Though since it's shortness it's forgettable, I suggest thinking of more stuff for it. I wish I could get more of it but sadly it's so short I couldn't!
I give this character a 7/10. Honestly he doesn't seem very good but he seems like he's a work in progress. I love a lot of the names but some are questionable. I also feel that the author should know the character's father. Also the backstory is VERY underdeveloped and short.
The things you should work on:
-backstory
-the names
-Author knowing about character's father.
Though you don't need to take my advice, I suggest you look over them. Thanks for entering your character, and good luck in the future of your oc!
