Hi, thanks for entering your oc! For everyone reading this, make sure to check out @WhooshiePop.
Name: Grayspots
Cute name.
Why?: He is gray with darker flecks
Makes sense.
Age: 27 moons
Young warrior, ok.
Gender: Tom
Nothing wrong with that.
Sexuality: Homosexual
K
Clan: WindClan
A cannon clan, don't see many of those in the fandom.
Rank: Medicine cat
I know people say this is a Mary Sue role, but it's not, if no ones a doctor, then it wouldn't be a Mary Sue. It's just like the gender quarrel. I don't have any reason to dislike this.
Personality: Introverted, sensitive, loud-mouthed, organized, friendly, dependant, romantic
Explain how he's introverted, loud-mouthed, dependent, and sensitive? It doesn't make sense. These clash quite a bit. I know my introverts, I'm an ambivert. They are not dependent on others, they'd rather figure it out on their own. Loud-mouthed, whilst introverts can be this, may want to elaborate on it. Sensitive, again elaborate, what's he sensitive on. But pretty good otherwise.
Family:
Mother: Duststrike,
Pretty
Father: Whiteblaze,
That's very fierce-sounding, I like it.
Sister: Pebblestar
Ok.
Back story: Grayspots was born into Windclan and had fun with his sister as kits. As apprentices, Grayspots witnessed his mentor die due to a warrior named Maplestorm. She eventually becomes leader as Grayspots goes on with his duties and gets his own apprentice.
Very short, explain more about what the mentor's death did to him, elaborate on my Maplestorm did what they did. Not very detailed. More. Detail. Work.
7/10 is his score, here's some reasons why;
•personality clashing
•backstory
•elaboration
Though there are not many reasons, these were huge. If you fix these I believe he will be a almost perfect oc, of course other people always have different opinions. Keep building oc's. Love all of you guys.
-Punch
