'' When I float weightless back to the surface, I'm imagining I'm becoming someone else. ''
- Major Motoko Kusanagi
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***
Sometimes I struggled to tell the difference between reality and dreams.
What was real anyway?
Was it the horrors of the lab? Was it the seemingly ordinary life that I lead at school? Was it the person that I became after becoming a marionette of the Pino program? Or was it the images that I sometimes saw, brief flashes of memories that I tried to push in the back of my mind before they could take control over me?
Was Pino real?
Raindrops were gently falling on the windows, thunder was cutting through the sky and the maths teacher Byun Baekhyun almost let out a scream when he rolled over on his bed and saw my figure standing in the room. It was dark, but he recognised my two coloured eyes right away. His heart was still racing and he was trying to take deep breaths to calm down, while I calmly closed the window that I just climbed through. '' Pino, what are you doing here? I know I told you to come visit me when it's raining and you are allowed to leave the laboratory, but it's two in the morning and... Wait, is something wrong? You are acting strange. I mean, you are always strange, but you aren't acting like yourself. Pino? Pino?! ''
Myself.
Did teacher Byun know who that was?
I stopped scraping something off my hands to turn towards him. For a moment, I just stared at him in silence. I felt like the entire world was spinning until my eyes locked with his.
Pino system turning off again.
I slowly moved towards him. One step after another, then I climbed on his bed and crawled right towards him. He was too shaken to move until my hand landed on his stomach and I brought my face closer to his. I was trying to get a better look at him before I would ask him my question. I needed to know if he would tell me the truth.
The teacher grabbed my shoulders and pushed me away. '' Listen, Pino, what are you trying to do? We can't- ''
'' Sensei, am I a bad person? ''
The moonlight reflected in his eyes and there it was.
Doubt.
He pushed me even further away from him, leaned back and turned on the light. He had to squint his eyes when he got blinded at first, then he took in my appearance and loudly gasped. I was sitting on his bed and I was soaking wet from the rain, but there was something else that caught his attention. Blood. My hands were entirely covered with blood.
'' P-Pino, what did you do? ''
'' I don't know. I can't remember. When I came to my senses, my hands were covered in blood and I was standing in front of your house. ''
